Umm...did I write that out loud?
When I awoke yesterday, it was with the conviction to resume my habit of reading the Word every morning. So I picked up the January Our Daily Bread and before you know it I was writing:
I weigh over 300 pounds.
Out of all the passages in the Bible, the devotional on my first day back to regular study delivered the painful reminder that God knows there is a thorn in my flesh, He knows I desperately want it removed, and yet it is still there.
It's just not fair - alcoholics and drug addicts can be slim and pretty (until the advanced stages anyway). Smokers too. All these people have serious problems, but they don't wear them 24/7 on their sleeves (and tummy and hips and thighs and double-chin) for all the world to see. I know this sounds warped, but why couldn't God have given me one of those thorns instead? It would still be a thorn, but at least it would look pretty in a sleeveless dress.
Yes, I did feel like Cinderella Saturday night. But the pictures from the party which I saw yesterday were a sad reminder that I look more like Cinderella's two stepsisters combined. I wasn't expecting a prince to fall in love with me before midnight, but it would have been nice if any man had asked me to dance.
It is not that I don't know how to lose weight. The bottom line is simple - I need to eat less and move more. My problem is that food has been the one thing that could always be counted on for comfort. And when you put your faith in any earthly thing, instead of God, it may seem like it works for a while but eventually you will be disappointed.
After my last diet failure, I stopped asking God to remove the thorn. It is not that I have given up wanting it removed. It is just that I realized that this thorn must be serving a purpose.
And maybe the only purpose it serves is so that I can be here, right now, to tell you this:
What you look like to the world means nothing compared to the way God sees you. He knows your heart, and loves you unconditionally. No matter what the world thinks of you, you are beautiful to Him.
The men at the party may not have wanted to dance with me, but my Father does.
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