Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Moody Judie - Part II

Read Part I

That sleepless night was not just a low point in my mood cycle. It was a dark place made worse by excessive eating. Even after months of working out and some success with dieting, I was into the food again and that blinded me to all the good I had accomplished.

But that night something was different from all the other times I was in that dark place. There was a sliver of light. It was faint, but definitely there. It was a reminder that what I was feeling was a feeling...and that feelings are NOT facts. It was a remembrance of good times when despite the facts of my life being the same as they were now, I felt differently. I just knew there were good days ahead, even if none of the facts of my life changed.

That sliver of light was God's answer to my cries.

As I cried I finally gave up my own will in this area of my life. I decided that even if I never conquered my food problem and never lost weight and never again had the love of a husband that I would continue to trust God. I would take what He gave me and do the best I could with it. I would strive to fulfill His purpose for whatever days He would give me in this body. And after I cried, I slept long and peacefully. I woke up in the same body with the same life I had the night before. But I was out of the dark place.

Of course it was God. God always hears us. We either don't take the time to listen for His answer, or we don't like the answer and just pretend we didn't hear it.

Now some of you may scoff at my explanation. You may say that it wasn't God, that it is a well-known fact that crying can provide a psychological and physiological release of stress that results in a feeling of well-being. I'm not going to argue with that.

I'll just ask you to remember Who made us this way.