Wedding Week - Part IV

Read Part I
Read Part II
Read Part III

Today's advice is a paradox...

Keep yourselves only for each other.

AND

It is good to spend time apart.

Let me start with the second part. Just because you are now "one" does not mean that you should spend every moment together. You have a lot of things you like to do together, but it's healthy to have activities that are your own. There is no hard and fast rule on this, but maybe one evening a week it would be OK to pursue your own hobbies or interests (as long as they don't violate the first part of the paradox, which we will get to shortly).

If you like scrapbooking and he likes paintball, make that your night apart. If she likes to sit alone and read a good book and you like to cheer on your favorite team, set aside time to pursue those things. Once a year, my husband's cousins and their spouses take off in different directions - the men to a "manly men's fishing trip", and the women to wherever they want. It might be a week or a long weekend, but it's something everyone looks forward to.

Just remember...like everything else, moderation is key. At the risk of sounding like Forrest Gump...time apart for a married couple is sort of like chocolate - a little is a sweet treat; too much gives you a tummy ache and zits.

So if you should spent time apart, how do you keep yourselves only for each other? By being faithful, of course. But what does that really mean?

This goes beyond adultery, the ultimate sin against your marriage. Fidelity is gone long before a spouse gives in to temptation and crosses that line where there is no doubt they have cheated. A person doesn't just wake up one day and decide to have an affair with a co-worker. It happens gradually, starting with seemingly innocent activities like going to lunch, drinks after work, flirting and fantasizing. The point is, none of this is innocent.

Your loyalty to your spouse is an everyday thing. All of your sexual attention belongs to them. All of it. From day one. When you are in a questionable situation, and you are not sure you should be there, pretend your spouse is there and act accordingly.

Just remember, from the day you say "I do" the most important person in the (earthly) world is your spouse...not your mother, not your kids and not your boss. And as such, your spouse deserves your utmost respect, love and attention. They deserve the best of you, because they also have to put up with the worst of you.

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