It's Valentine's Day again, you poor guys!

Seems every year I see more and more backlash against the commercial "holiday" of Valentine's Day. And I approve. Not since New Year's Eve has a single day caused more useless tension and worry. "Will I have a date?" "Will he buy me something good?" "If I'm alone on Valentine's Day am I a loser?"

It's especially hard for the guys on Valentine's Day. I told my nephew not long ago that I think guys get a raw deal...so much pressure on a single day. And it implies that if you don't perform well on this one day, your actions on the other 364 days of the year don't really count. Baloney.

One of the most romantic days of my marriage was also the most disgusting. And I was reminded of that this week, because the disgusting part happened again. I had food poisoning on Monday night. Last time it happened, Daniel not only shielded me from onlookers (he had pulled the car over to the side of the road just in time for the climax), but he also washed my clothes, cleaned the car, make sure I had the fluids I needed and not once gagged (at least that I could see). I wouldn't trade the feeling of being loved I had that day for a flawless diamond. I sure missed him Monday night.

It's simple. Treat each other with kindness every day. When you recognize a need, fulfill it if you can. Choose to be loving, even when you may not feel loving (like when she is puking on your shoes). And don't let society or a television commercial or even your significant other tell you that the rest isn't good enough if you "screw up" this one day. Don't fall for it.

My niece gave me a valentine with a 3-D picture of a cat and a chocolate heart taped to the back. Because I love cats and I love chocolate. And because she loves me. Which I already knew because she doesn't wait for a specific day to treat her family and friends with love. She does it every day.

Happy Every Day!

The meaning of life in one word - Part V

Continued from a series started in 2007 but never finished...click here to read from Part I.

A week ago right about now, my friend Greg was starting his day and had no way of knowing he would never settle in for the night in his bed again. He looked forward to a fun evening of playing cards with his friends. He was talking and laughing with those friends and his wife when the countdown clock of his life on earth ran down to zero.

At his funeral, his life-long best friend imagined what it must have been like when God greeted him at that moment. He described a scene with all of our friend's departed loved ones standing behind God, and God with His arms outstretched as He exclaimed with joy "here is my friend Greg!".

The end of our earthly relationship with this friend is painful, because we will never have another chance to laugh with him or get a hug from him or see his smile. But at least that pain is lessened with the knowledge that our friend is perfectly happy and at peace.

This man and his wife were surrounded by hundreds (yes, hundreds) of dear friends as we laid him to rest. But someone was missing, and this man's absence was the result of a situation more profoundly sad than our friend's death...the pain of relationships broken by careless words, resentment and unforgiveness.

My prayers this day are for the absent man. I pray for healing for the broken part of him, the part that took offense long ago and would not forgive. The part of him that clung to his resentment instead of letting it go. The part of him that caused him to say "no" instead of "yes" at a critcal moment.

It does not matter what came before that moment. Nor does it matter what I or anyone else thinks about what the absent man did at that moment. It doesn't even really matter if a certain group of souls does not survive as a community much longer.

What matters is what will happen when we stand before God when our earthly life is over. Will God welcome us with open arms, or will He say "you claimed to love Me, but..."?

Our relationships - all of them - are the meaning of our lives.

Do you think my work is sexy?

Check this out from MSM Careers:

10 Sexy Careers You Never Thought Of

Not that your first consideration when choosing a career path should be if the work is "sexy"...I wasn't going for that when I became an administrative assistant out of high school. Actually, back then they called them "secretaries". But anyone who has worked in a office knows that good admins really do "possess a hidden but large cache of power".

As for #7 - Personal Trainer - all that is true. Except mine has never called me a quitter. He's the positive-motivation type. Although I admit I have wanted to punch him a few times.

Hey wait...there's no Project Manager on this list!

Now I'm hungry

If I could buy only the Food Network and maybe the History Channel, I would order cable today.

Inspiring, or insulting?

There is certainly nothing wrong with a call to service. What I find insulting is the idea that it is only worth doing when you happen to approve of who is occupying the Oval Office:



Feed the hungry, clothe the naked, defend the defenseless. These celebrities would have you think these are new ideas. They are as old as man, and our calling as decent human beings.

Serve your fellow man. Serve your country. Serve a cause you believe in. Serve because it is the right thing to do, not because a charismatic leader instructs you to.

Don't become a member of a cult of personality.

Press on

I don't have to get up every day trying to be perfect! I just need to get up every day, determined to press on.

Today's wisdom from my Joyce Meyer Daily Calendar.

In this way, we are all equal

Do you ever envy somebody else's life? Wish you were as popular, or rich, or had their house or their parents or their life? Do you ever look at someone who is seemingly happy or carefree, or at least doesn't seem to have to deal with the kind of crap you have to deal with every day?

I have been envious in this way a lot. I sometimes look at my situation in life and wish I was somebody else. When this happens, I am failing to remember and be grateful for all the blessings I do have.

When you find yourself thinking this way, you need to remind yourself that appearances can be deceiving. You don't know the whole story.

John Travolta and his family seemed to have it all - fame, money and a very good life. But what most of us didn't know until recently is the painful struggle they endured with a child's very serious health issues. And the loss of that child at age 16? Most of us will never know that kind of tragedy and devastating pain in our own lives.

Fame and fortune and luck are wonderful. But I would bet that the Travoltas would trade every cent they have to have to get their son back.

No matter how great you think somebody else's life is, remember that we are all equal in that we are human. No amount of money can buy happiness or health or one more day on this earth.

Be grateful for what you do have. You don't know how long it will last.

One down, 49 to go

You can cross off #6 on my 50 by 50 List.

Today I sang in front of the whole congregation. I will be doing so at least once a month as a Cantor who sings the Responsorial Psalm and Gospel Acclamation.

I was really nervous, and made a couple of mistakes. But it didn't matter.

I was where I belonged.

Character counts

If someone who didn't know you asked someone who did what kind of person you are, they would attempt to describe your character.

Here's a great column about how you build your character, and why it is so important, from one of my favorites - Greg Laurie.

Moody Judie - Part II

Read Part I

That sleepless night was not just a low point in my mood cycle. It was a dark place made worse by excessive eating. Even after months of working out and some success with dieting, I was into the food again and that blinded me to all the good I had accomplished.

But that night something was different from all the other times I was in that dark place. There was a sliver of light. It was faint, but definitely there. It was a reminder that what I was feeling was a feeling...and that feelings are NOT facts. It was a remembrance of good times when despite the facts of my life being the same as they were now, I felt differently. I just knew there were good days ahead, even if none of the facts of my life changed.

That sliver of light was God's answer to my cries.

As I cried I finally gave up my own will in this area of my life. I decided that even if I never conquered my food problem and never lost weight and never again had the love of a husband that I would continue to trust God. I would take what He gave me and do the best I could with it. I would strive to fulfill His purpose for whatever days He would give me in this body. And after I cried, I slept long and peacefully. I woke up in the same body with the same life I had the night before. But I was out of the dark place.

Of course it was God. God always hears us. We either don't take the time to listen for His answer, or we don't like the answer and just pretend we didn't hear it.

Now some of you may scoff at my explanation. You may say that it wasn't God, that it is a well-known fact that crying can provide a psychological and physiological release of stress that results in a feeling of well-being. I'm not going to argue with that.

I'll just ask you to remember Who made us this way.

What we learn in "bad times".

"Those who don't believe in God derive the wrong lessons from what appears as bad news."

Column from Marvin Olasky at Townhall.com.

Moody Judie gets a clue (once again)

Are you like me? Are there some lessons you have to learn over and over and over and over again? No matter how many times I go through this, it still suprises me at some level.

I have written before about my tendency to swing from high to low, energy-wise. I will have these waves of energy and enthusiasm when I get more done in a day or two than I got done for months before. When those waves come I ride them as long as I can.

When the wave crashes, things I really care about - like writing here - seem too much work to even consider. And it's not necessarily depression, although I suppose it could be. It is like my answer to everything is "meh", which I understand just became an actual word. Good word.

Well, I'm riding one of those energy waves now. I'm sitting in my cute, clean, tidy apartment, where a week ago I made a discovery akin to one you would have on an archeological dig. I picked up something that I know had been on the floor since August 11, 2008. Seriously. Nothing gross, just some laundry from an event at my church (for those of you in the know, it was the aprons from the kitchen at Polish Fest...clean but with the strings hopelessly tangled from the dryer).

What is surprising about my latest trip through Meh Valley (why use one metaphor when two is twice as nice?) is that during that same time I was going to the gym 4-5 times a week. For the first time in my entire life I was actually working on getting fit. I was so psyched up...working out with a trainer, feeling great, losing pounds and inches and body fat percentage. But I would get home and simply not care that the ironing board had been out since shortly after the last time I had company (which may or may not have been July 19, 2008...I'm looking into that).

Fortunately, when I hit my low point during a recent sleepless night, I remembered all the other times this has happened and I told myself over and over that I would not feel this way forever. And then I let myself cry. That is something I don't do often enough. I feel embarassed to cry, even when I'm alone. I'm afraid somebody will hear me.

Well, Somebody did.

(to be continued)

What's that smell?

"What's that smell in this room? Didn't you notice it, Brick? Didn't you notice a powerful and obnoxious odor of mendacity in this room?" That's "Big Daddy Pollitt" in one of my favorite movies - "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof".

There ain't nothin' more powerful than the odor of mendacity. And that's all I smell as I count down the days (19) until this interminable election season is over.

The movie is about one day in the life of a family torn apart by lies and liars. Only when a family crisis causes the lies to come to light is the family set on the road to healing. It's extremely painful, and they almost don't make it through.

Here's another line from the movie that sums up what I mostly feel about the media, the pollsters and even the candidates right now:

"I don't know what to believe in. Now what's the good of livin' if you got nothin' to believe in?"

Yep, you have to have something to believe in. Just don't make it a politician.

Democracy is not pretty. You have to dig through miles of crap to get to the truth of a situation, because everyone involved is going to spin it to make themselves look good or convince you their actions aren't what you should pay attention to. They tell you what they think you want to hear, or what they want you to believe. No wonder so many people are turned off by politics.

And it's nothing new. I'm finally getting towards the end of a biography of our second president, John Adams. Even our country's earliest elections were marred by lies and corruption and mind-boggling spin. All that has changed are the delivery methods.

If you're a voter, make sure your decision is based on as much of the truth as you can dig up. Don't believe anyone whose promises don't line up with the actions they have taken at times when it really counted. Get as close to their core values as you possibly can.

And trust that God will continue to bless this nation of ours, no matter who we elect. That is what I have to believe in.

We will get what we deserve

I don't write about politics much. I enjoy following it, but I'm no expert. I know a lot of the players, and I know my position on most issues.

I know some of you are apathetic to politics. Maybe you don't think your one vote matters. If that were the case, candidates would not be spending millions of dollars to get you to vote for them.

The thing is, decisions being made today are going to affect you in one way or another your entire life. Promises by candidates to give more and more are nice, but guess what...NOTHING IS FREE. For every new program or giveaway, there is a cost. For every promised tax cut for one section of the population, there is a tax hike for another. And for most good intentions, there is at least one negative consequence.

There may be times when all the candidates sound alike. How do you know what to believe? It used to be that a candidate could say one thing to one crowd, and something different to another crowd, and nobody would know the difference. In this age of instant communication, they simply can't get away with it. There's still a lot of spin - and too much of candidates acting like whiny babies lately - but there are ways to get at the truth.

One way of getting at the truth is to follow the money. The economic mess we're in right now? Dig into it, and you will find out who benefitted financially. Which executives took huge pay packages while their companies were failing? Which candidates took contributions from those executives? Did the candidate then look the other way or vote for a bill that favored that company or industry?

As they used to say at the beginning of the X-Files - the truth is out there.

I believe that in our democracy, we ultimately get what we deserve. If we don't get involved, and hold our elected leaders to high standards, then we shouldn't complain. The more we turn away, the more they can get away with.

Get involved. Register to vote. Know the candidates and the issues. Dig deep. Even work for a candidate or cause you believe in.

Don't take this grand experiment called America for granted. If you do, it might just die of neglect.

Seven years and eleven days ago...

...I became a widow, seven years and eleven days after becoming a wife. Doesn't mean anything, really. Just maybe it's the last milestone.

The story is here, told for the last time on this blog.

Daniel was loved - by God, his family, his friends and his wife. And love never dies.

A lovely thought

Here's a mental picture for all you other single Christian girls out there who sometimes fret about finding the right guy:

(Courtesy of Facebook and Pieces of Flair)

50 by 50 - The List

Here it is. The 50 things I will do before I turn 50 in two years (in no particular order):

1. Get a tatoo.
2. Go sailing.
3. Climb the rock wall at the gym.
4. Go snowmobiling.
5. Go to the top of Pike's Peak.
6. Sing a solo in church.
7. Go camping (the real kind - tents, peeing in the woods, etc.)
8. Visit Graceland.
9. Go parasailing.
10. Learn to shoot a gun.
11. Bowl a 200+ game.
12. Learn to do cartwheels.
13. Visit a country I have never been to before.
14. Learn to water ski.
15. Learn to drive a motocycle.
16. Sell an article to a magazine.
17. Get certified in CPR.
18. Ride in a hot air balloon.
19. Ride an adult-size roller coaster.
20. Go cross-country skiing.
21. Go jet skiing.
22. Ride a horse.
23. Attend a real rock concert (I was told that seeing Journey in 1981 does not count).
24. Go on an out of state road trip with the youth group. (I've done this many times, but this one was requested by my niece.)
25. Visit Branson, Missouri.
26. Go scuba diving.
27. Go on a blind date.
28. Write a song.
29. Perform in community theatre.
30. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity.
31. Join the bone marrow donor registry.
32. Go hunting.
33. Learn to rollerblade.
34. Go skateboarding.
35. Golf 18 holes. Yes, in one day.
36. Enter a poker tournament.
37. Learn to play poker (I told you this list was in no particular order).
38. Go ice skating.
39. Write a novel.
40. Take a cooking class.
41. Take a karate (or other martial art) class.
42. Learn to speak Polish.
43. Go to the Kentucky Derby (just so I have an excuse to buy an awesome hat).
44. Ride a Segway.
45. Learn to dive from a diving board.
46. Do a flip on a trampoline.
47. Catch a fish.
48. Take a yoga class in Millenium Park.
49. Walk in a charity event.
50. Post a video of me doing any of these things on YouTube.

OK, some of these are kinda lame. But it's a darn long list! I'm not sure which one is more scary to me - #19 or #27.

And to my friend who suggested I could do any or all of these things naked, YES. I will do #42 naked, but I won't be posting it on YouTube!

50 by 50

This is a limited-time offer. You have one week to contribute to a very worthwhile life experience. Fifty of them, actually.

In two years + one week (God willing) I will celebrate my 50th birthday. And between August 29, 2008 and August 29, 2010 I pledge to myself to do 50 things that I have either never done before, or did so long ago that it doesn't count.

I have a list going and it is nowhere near 50 items, so I need your help. I'm not saying I will accept every single suggestion (I'm not crazy), but if it is somewhat reasonable, absolutely legal, and does not conflict with my core values I will add it to the list.

A lot of things on the list will depend on my continuing to get fit and lose weight, like climbing a rock wall at the gym and learning to do cartwheels (seriously). I want to go snowmobiling, horseback riding and water skiing...stuff like that. I might ride a giant roller coaster, but I probably would not go sky diving.

And I want to visit several places I have never been before, like Graceland and Branson. And bowl a 200+ game (my lifetime high score is 197). And maybe sing on YouTube.

If you would like to contribute suggestions, post a comment or send me an email. I'll publish the list on my birthday and start the clock. And if you want to join me on any of the adventures, just let me know!

Sad but true

This news has actually made me very sad. Once again, image wins over substance.

In the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces, Rose Morgan is a literature professor who has never liked her looks. Rose has a beautiful mother, a gorgeous sister and a handsome husband who married her specifically because he is not sexually attracted to her (the reason given is somewhat hard to believe). At one point in the movie Rose asks her mother what it felt like to be admired for her beauty. Her mother hesitates, but then admits - "it was wonderful".

Rose is played by Barbra Streisand, a woman who may not be beautiful in a classic sense, but is extremely talented and successful because she worked hard and made the most of the gifts she was given. Those gifts include one of the most wonderful voices the world has ever known, which could have been ruined if she had succumbed to a common beautifying tactic - a nose job.

Today more than ever, in too many aspects of our culture, beauty is of the highest value - more important than talent or intelligence or personality. I wish I had the strength of character to say with certainty that I would rather be who I am - a woman who might be thought of as beautiful but only after you get to know me - than someone who the world knows is beautiful. But some days I just don't know.

Some days I really want to know what it's like on the other side.

It's good to be home...

...after being trapped in a Walgreen's during a severe storm. A tornado touched down a few towns away.

Even if the power goes out now, at least I'm home.