Breakaway - Part 7

Read from Part 1

"You can't go home again." That's the old saying my supervisor used when I let her know I was quitting and moving back to Chicago. I didn't really understand what she meant, because of course I could go home. And I did.

I arrived back in Chicago the same way I left. A friend had driven me to the airport in December and that same friend picked me up the follow August. So by age 21 I had moved out and back in to my father's home three times, two of those times being on my own (paying my own way). Over the next few years I would actually do that a couple more times before he finally (and rightly) told me it was time to leave the nest for good.

Breaking away from the life you know to try something new is a good thing to do, especially if you are doing it in a smart way for the right reasons. And sometimes even if that is not the case, it's still an OK thing to do. I left my home and my job and my real friends because I was bored with my life. And the way I did it wasn't well thought out - I moved thousands of miles away to a place I had never been with no job, no car, almost no money and no real friends to depend on.

But it turned out alright for several reasons. First, I had a lifeline. I had not burned bridges when I left home. The foundation of my life - my family - would be there, and I remained tethered to that foundation. And I had my core beliefs. I knew what my limits were, what I was willing and not willing to do. And I was not too proud to admit when I was lonely or broke or scared.

Some people have told me they admire me for what I did back then, that my breakaway was "brave". I don't think of it that way. It was just something I needed to do, and when the opportunity presented itself, I took it. I didn't need to be brave, because I always knew I could go home.

So, to those of you who are feeling the need to take a big step outside or away from the life you know, I say go for it. But do it better and smarter than I did. At least visit the place you're thinking of before you actually move there! Don't assume or fantasize what it will be like to live there. Save up some money so your options (like where and with whom you will live) aren't so limited. Don't be too proud to ask for help when you need it. Hold onto those lifelines of family and friends. You will learn that those lifelines will stretch a very long way, but don't let them break.

And above all, know yourself. Before you test your core beliefs in a new situation, you have to know what those beliefs are. You already do, but you may not realize it until they are tested.

And in the end, maybe that's what a breakaway is really all about.