Breakaway - Part 6

Read from Part 1

When I say "core beliefs", I'm not talking about my faith or religious beliefs. And I'm not talking about what is legal or socially acceptable at any given time. Although my core beliefs may sometimes align to some of those things, they aren't dictated by them. I use this term to describe the boundaries I have put on my own behavior, based on what I believe to be the best way for me to live.

For example, there is my core belief that casual sex is not good for me. There is certainly a religious alignment there for me now, but back then there really wasn't. And then there is my core belief that you don't mess with another girl's guy. There is certainly no law against that, but it is just something I wouldn't do.

So when the guy roommate suggested on more than one occasion that we get on his motorcycle and go away from where we were and see where life would take us, I didn't consider it for a moment. Well, maybe once I did consider it, but just for a moment.

Funny thing was, he never made sexual advances towards me. He just wanted to run away and take me with him. I never flattered myself thinking it was because he had feelings for me. He needed a breakaway, maybe because of a fear of commitment (he had been married three times already). I don't know for sure. But I knew it certainly wasn't the right thing for me.

And considering that a lot of his friends had been from his heroin days, the fact that none of our partying and flirting and kissing led to sex is what may have saved my life. Very little was known about AIDS at that time...it was just starting to be diagnosed (and almost exclusively in the gay community) in the United States. Had I not stuck to my core beliefs, there is a very good possibility that I could have contracted the disease from an IV-drug user.

Don't get me wrong...this does not make me a better person than any of them. I'm not talking about sin or even right and wrong (as seen by others). It just means that those core beliefs served me well in that situation.

By the time I had decided to move back home to Chicago, the roommates were ready to move to their own place together. He had not run away. When I left they were renting a house together and seemed happy. They also both had hepatitis.

We lost contact after about a year.

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