You are not what you lack

A while back I had drinks with an old friend who asked about my love life. He was aware of my beliefs and my commitment to refrain from sex until I get married again. He said that while he admired that, he still thought I would be better off with a boyfriend; and since I am an interesting and attractive person, I would have no trouble getting one...if I was willing to put out.

So if I would just become someone I am not, compromise my beliefs and give away something that is precious to me, I can have someone to go to dinner and the movies with! Doesn't sound like a good trade to me. And besides, why would I want a man who wants a woman who would become someone she is not, compromise her beliefs...?

There are times when it is extremely tempting to give up and give in. I am healthy and have human desires. I may be abstinent from sex with my body, but that's not the same as being chaste in mind and spirit...especially since, as a widow, I know very well just what I am missing.

We live in a world that says "if it feels good, do it" and "if you want it, you should have it". The world looks at the lack of something in our lives as a total negative, when in truth it can be a blessing. If for no other reason, such a void in our lives can make us appreciate all the things we do have.

Our friend Dawn at The Dawn Patrol wrote a wise and beautiful essay in response to a reader's question about how she can consider chastity to be "...suffused with the thrill of wonder" instead of a void in her life. (Make sure you read the comments...lots of wisdom there too.)

So as I face another Saturday night without a date, I won't look at the lack in my life as defining my life. My singleness is not who I am, nor is it a burden to be lamented. It is simply one facet of the precious gem that is the life that God has given me.