Memory lane - Part II

Read Part I

I have only been hospitalized twice in my life. First was being born, then when I had my tonsils removed at age six. A lot has changed since then.

Prices, for one thing. My mother's hospital stay for my birth cost $26 per day. The total for four days including the operating room, anesthesia and drugs - $151.92.

For my tonsils surgery six years later, the doctor charged $150 and the hospital (with lab, x-rays, drugs and the room) charged $134. Oh, plus $35 for anethesia.

And keeping patient records was a little different than today. My first few months of doctor visits were recorded on one index card by hand. The receipts were hand-written also, but the doctor bills were typed. And that four-day hospital stay when I was born...that is unheard of today as insurance companies want you out as quickly as possible.

It is an interesting experience to hold these things in my hands.

continued

Memory lane - Part I

I used to have this recurring dream, that I'm back in high school (at my present age) because I never really graduated. Well, I have in my hands (not really in my hands because I wouldn't be able to type) my high school diploma. Now they can't make me go back!

As I keep going through my things to get rid of stuff that I refuse to move even one more time, I'm scanning pictures and papers that I want to keep and tossing the originals. Lots of dust, lots of laughs, lots of tears, lots of closure coming my way. And a lot of trivial crap that nobody cares about.

Like this - according to my grade school report cards...

- I was unable to tie my shoes by the end of kindergarten, but I could recognize what color they were.
- I had no special abilities noted from 1966 to 1968 (bummer).
- I was a "back captain" (what??), a "paper" monitor (news, construction, toilet? not sure), and in charge of the Halloween Talent Show in 1970.
- I was an "office girl" in 1974. Wow...I found my career at age 14.
- And last, but not least, my very favorite encouraging comment from a teacher on a report card...

Seems my fate was sealed decades ago. Who knew?

Tune in tomorrow...that's when I go through my medical records!

continued

Photo shoppe

After taking a two-hour nap this afternoon, I woke up with a start and realized I had a really cool project I could work on. I am moving in a couple of months (don't know where...and that's a story for another post), and I am still decades behind in my scrapbooking. I'll never catch up, and I don't want to move this huge box of photos AGAIN.

So I spent the evening organizing, scanning, and tossing. I've backed them up. Now I can share a couple of the gems:

As a bridesmaid in 1980. My favorite hairstyle, but not my favorite dress.

My favorite Halloween costume. I actually travelled on a Chicago city bus wearing this!

My favorite cats-eye glasses. And my least favorite haircut ever.

Only a few thousand more pictures to go.

Is a mistake still a mistake...

...when you take away the consequences?

At a recent public appearance, one of our presidential candidates was in a "town hall" setting when he was asked about abortion after speaking about sex education in schools:

“Look, I got two daughters — 9 years old and 6 years old,” he said. “I am going to teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby. I don’t want them punished with an STD at age 16, so it doesn’t make sense to not give them information.”

The firestorm this caused was because of the "punished with a baby" part of the quote. But to me, the key phrase is "...if they make a mistake, I don't want them punished..."

He seems to be saying that he wants all negative consequences of his children's possible future actions removed. But perhaps we have more unwanted pregnancies and sexually-transmitted diseases today than ever before because we keep trying to remove those consequences. My point is not about sex, it is about personal responsibility.

Let me illustrate by using that part of his quote in a different situation:

I will teach my kids that cheating is wrong, but if they make a mistake and cheat on a test I don't want them punished...

Or how about this:

I will teach my kids that stealing is wrong, but if they make a mistake and rob a bank I don't want them punished...

Or maybe:

I will tell my kids not to drive drunk, but if they make a mistake and kill someone, I don't want them punished...

How do you teach your children that something is wrong if their mistake has no negative consequences? If there are no consequences, why is it a mistake?

Think about how many of the problems in our society would be solved within a single generation if, starting today, we each took full responsibility for our own actions and taught our children to do the same.

Risky business - Part 4

Read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

There are risks that you can do something to avoid, and there are some that you just can't foresee no matter how wild your imagination.

Just ask the man who was enjoying the day on his boat one minute, and the next minute lost his wife to a leaping stingray. Or the two women in the back seat of a car who lost their daughters when a maintenance scaffold fell 43 floors onto them in the front seat of the car. They were just going about their lives, and people they loved were gone in an instant because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

It wouldn't be smart to ignore obvious risks, nor would life be much fun if we were always scared of what we can't see around the corner (or in the sky). If the risks of life were all you thought about you would never actually do anything.

As you might have guessed, I'm writing about this because I am trying to convince myself. Even at my age, I still tend to let fear prevent me from doing things I want to or even feel called to do. I have dreams that remain secret for fear of ridicule, relationships that remain unexplored for fear of being hurt, and words that remain unspoken for fear of conflict.

We'll all die someday, somewhere, from something. And in that regard I have three wishes. One, that I don't die doing something really stupid and end up (in)famous for it. Two, that I have made an impact on the world around me that is much more positive than negative. And three, that I have, more often than not, overcome my fear and lived my days to the fullest.

Every day, I need to remind myself that God will work all things out for good, because that is what He has promised. And that is the ultimate risk strategy for this life.

Risky business - Part 3

Read Part 1 and Part 2

When analyzing project risks, we identify the worst thing that could happen, then the second worst thing, then a few more. We give each risk a number to indicate it's severity, then we multiply it by the probability to come up with a rating. And that rating determines how much effort we put into either avoiding the risk, taking steps to minimize the impact or coming up with an alternative plan.

When the probability and severity are both low, we usually just accept the risk because even if it happens, it won't be too bad. When the probability is low, but the severity is high, we give that more thought and planning. And you can bet that if the probability and severity are both high we are really going to have a good backup plan.

That's all the project team can really do, and it works fine most of the time. But then there are those times that something happens that nobody could have possibly foreseen. And all you can do at that point is deal with it.

And that's what we have to do in real life, too.

We make our plans and manage the risks and live our lives. Every day we make choices, thinking we know where those choices will take us. But if we are wise, we also know that anything can happen, even the very worst thing.

And it can happen in a moment.

continued

Risky business - Part 2

Read Part 1

As a project manager, part of my job is to manage risks. A risk is something that could happen. Well, anything could happen, right? What the project team does is identify the things that could go wrong, estimate out how likely they are and what the impact would be they did happen. Then we make an alternative plan to have in place if a risk does happen.

Let's say the project is to move a business from one location to another. Your current lease expires on a set date and you must vacate the property by that date. Your new location is being constructed, and the builder says it will be done on time. But what if it isn't? What's Plan B...Plan C...Plan D? That's risk management.

People like "Adventurer" Steve Fossett did a lot of risk management. When preparing for a round-the-world solo balloon flight, you sure better know where you can land if you have technical trouble or suddenly get sick! And yet it is possible that Fossett died because what he was doing that day was not as risky as his other adventures, so he may not have thoroughly planned for the potential risks.

Do you consider yourself a risk taker? Sure you get up in the morning and face the dangers of cars and icy roads and sidewalks, probably without even thinking about it much...buckle your seatbelt, drive more slowly than normal, wear the right kind of shoes. But beyond that...are there things you need to do or want to do, but you don't do them because of what could go wrong? Are there things in your past that you didn't do because of potential dangers that never came to pass? Are you letting fear of the risks of life keep you from really living life?

The first step to getting over that fear is to ask yourself one question - what is the worst thing that could happen?

(continued)

Risky business

"Adventurer" Steve Fossett has been declared dead five months after he disappeared. Read all about him here.

This was man who risked life and limb in a variety of ways his entire life. Yet he died not on one of his adventures, but on a pleasure flight. Reminds me of General George S. Patton, who served in both World Wars but died as the result of a car accident while on a hunting trip.

Living is a risky business. It's nine o'clock in the morning, and already I have risked my life in several ways. I took a shower - and could have slipped and cracked my head open! I took the elevator downstairs, drove to get breakfast, drove back home and took the elevator up again - an adventure fraught with danger from malfunctioning equipment and bad drivers! Even my breakfast was risky - I could have choked to death on my bagel!

Sounds sort of silly, doesn't it? The likelihood that the elevator cable would break and fall 11 stories at the exact time that I was on it was extremely low, but it could have happened.

So how does a person get out of bed and face the day when there is so much to fear out there? By identifying risks, taking steps avoid them, and knowing how to lessen their impact if they do happen.

It's simple, and you do it every day without even realizing it.

(continued)

Golden versus tarnished

I don't watch much TV these days. I do catch a few shows on internet replay, and I can't avoid some "previews" on the advertising panels of some of my favorite web sites. And I tend to watch TV when I travel for business, like I am right now.

Overall, I just can't help but think that the best days of television programming is behind us.

So much of what is on TV these days shows bad behavior in a supposedly good light. One of the previews I mentioned is a woman getting her pantyhose ripped off while she leans back on her executive desk. It looks like this is something she wants, but the imagery purposely hints at rape. Is that really supposed to be sexy?

Among my Christmas gifts was the first season of Golden Girls on DVD, which I finished this past weekend. Sure, there is some sexual innuendo, but the show is primarily about friendship. And women depending on each other.

Maybe that's what that other show is about too. I don't know. Just seems like Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia had a lot more respect for themselves.

Resolutions

We're a week into the New Year, which means if you made one or more resolutions, chances are you have already given up. Don't worry, that's pretty typical. It doesn't mean you are weak, it means you are human.

Most of us feel, at least at one time or another, that there is something about ourselves we want to make better. We resolve to lose weight, quit smoking, go back to school - all worthwhile objectives. But even if you have already given up, remember that you don't have to wait until next January 1st, or even next Monday, to try again. Any day - really any moment - you can decide to make a change.

But here's the thing - there are two resolutions that rise above all others. I have come to believe that without these two things any other goals, objectives or resolutions are almost meaningless.

If 2008 ends up being the year I finally achieve lasting weight loss, what will it matter if I don't also discover God's purpose for my life and fulfill that purpose?

It is possible that my lack of success in losing weight is directly related to the fact that I am not living the life God wants me to live. I don't mean morally, I mean that God put me here for a purpose. If I am ignoring my calling, what does it really matter what size pants I wear?

Resolve today to find out what God made you for.

All I want for Christmas is skepticism

Atheism seemed quite popular in 2007. Millions of people bought books and read web site authors who think that faith is some kind of mass delusion, and religion is for the weak-willed or stupid. So many people in this world are skeptical (some are downright hostile) towards people of faith.

On Gerry Charlotte Phelps's web site, guest blogger Rubel Shelly flips this thinking around, and makes the case that faith is skepticism of the world:

Faith's view of this world is strangely skeptical. No, more than that. It is a posture of unequivocal distrust leading to rejection! When the world recites its mantras - you matter only if you are beautiful, the most important thing is money, winning is everything, Look Out for Number One - faith protests them all.

Read the whole thing here.

You may have found every earthly thing you wished for under the tree today. And that's wonderful. But don't let those things be the source of your happiness, or define the quality of your life even for a moment. Because remember, in one moment they could be gone.

Be skeptical of what the world values. Seek out the gifts our Father gives, and "let Christmas deny the hold of this world on your heart".

Letting Go

I picked this up somewhere, and it was just what I needed. Author unknown.

As children bring their broken toys
With tears for us to mend,
I brought my broken dreams to God,
Because God is my friend.

But then, instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
I hung around and tried to help,
With ways that were my own.

At last, I snatched them back and cried,
"How can You be so slow?"
"My child," God said, "what could I do?
You never did let go."

He wants to help. Let Him.

Thanks, but...

...I want more.

A while back I picked up a movie I had never heard of from the bargain bin at the pharmacy. I'm not recommending you see it, because it's kinda vulgar. I'm not even sure why I bought it. But I felt the urge to watch it again last night and I remembered that even trashy movies can contain life lessons.

It's about a woman who wanted to be famous. In the course of getting famous she also got a bunch of stuff she didn't know she wanted but was glad to get, including a loving husband who believed in her. She also got a few things she surely didn't want - a severely handicapped child, then cancer.

Her way of praying was to go to a specific tree in a city park and look through the tree's branches to "Him" up in the sky. She went to her tree to ask Him for advice, to bargain with Him, to scream in anger at Him. And when she had all that she ever wanted, she boldly asked Him for more. In my opinion, she wasn't being selfish or ungrateful. She was acting on a belief that she had the right to ask for anything.

I haven't always believed that. Even now I sometimes hesitate to ask God for what I want because my life is already so wonderful. I slip back into "zero-sum" thinking...that there is only so much good stuff to go around, so if I get the next thing I ask for then something has to be taken away (from me or someone else).

But that's not how God is. He wants to give us what we desire, as long as it is good for us and within His plan for our lives. He wants us to ask Him for anything.

So be grateful every day for what God has given you. But don't be afraid to ask for more.

Hi there Classmates!

In case anyone actually makes it here from Classmates.com...hello! While this doesn't contain everything I've done in the last 29+ years since high school, this is a good place to get to know the "me" I have become.

And for my regular readers...I KNOW I AM BEHIND ON BLOGGING. It's been a crazy-busy-stressful couple of months. But things are good. I just got a new position at work that's kinda perfect for me. Everything I've done at work for the past decade has (hopefully) prepared me for this assignment.

More to come (I know, I ALWAYS say that).

The Confident Woman

Just started reading this today.

From Chapter Four - Seven Secrets of a Confident Woman:

Secret #1 - A confident woman knows that she is loved.
Secret #2 - A confident woman refuses to live in fear.
Secret #3 - A confident woman is positive.
Secret #4 - A confident woman recovers from setbacks.
Secret #5 - A confident woman avoids comparisons.
Secret #6 - A confident woman takes action.
Secret #7 - A confident woman does not live in "if only" and "what if".

So far I'm loving this book.

I love Saturdays

Especially those rare Saturdays when you have nothing really planned, and the homestead is already clean, and the laundry is already done, and you can leisurely browse the local outdoor market for a ham and cheese crepe and some pretty flowers.

More good stuff from Dawn

Sorry I haven't posted much lately. It's been a busy and stressful couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to a visit from my niece and sister-in-law this weekend. And right now I have to get back to cleaning up the remnants of my kitchen and closet reorganization project - you know, those last few (hundred) things that came out of one closet or cabinet and have no obvious new place to go.

But we can always count on our friend Dawn to give us something good to read:

Ten and 1/2 Reasons to be Chaste

I particularly like Number 6 - "Be the Kind of Person You Would Want to Marry":

Before deciding to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want that person to have a solid character. That includes possessing faith, integrity, trustworthiness, and self-control.

The fact is, like attracts like. A person with a rock-solid character is going to be attracted to someone who possesses those same qualities.

Yep, self-control. Still struggling with that one.

Timing ISN'T everything

There is also motive. And method. And the end result.

Take this sad story. A mother driving her four kids races to beat a train and almost wins. She was so focused on the train she was racing that she didn't see the other one. Her apparent motive wasn't really bad in itself. Those freight trains can be really, really long. But her method was stupid, her timing was way off, and the end result was horribly tragic.

In this case, it was the mother's conscious decision to do the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong way for what she must have thought was the right reason. The kids could do nothing but go along for the ill-fated ride.

There is something going on in my life right now that, if it had been happening even just a few years ago, would have had me extremely angry and worried to the point of illness. The drivers in this scenario are people doing the wrong things for the wrong reasons in the wrong way. And while I'm just a passenger with no control over the situation, and the timing and end result are unknown, I'm OK. The worst thing that can happen to me is no big deal, and may actually end up being a blessing.

And that's because my trust isn't in those drivers, it is in God. He has proven to me again and again that His promises are true. Especially this one:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:10-12)

So I'll leave the end result and timing to Him, and not worry about it. I'll do my best to glorify Him in how I react. And I'll pray for the people in the driver's seat, that they might stop what they are doing before they hit the train.

And if they don't stop, I pray that God use me to somehow help the other victims.

Happy Birthday Jan!

xoxoxox

Wedding cake cookies

Here's why I've been so quiet this week:

I just finished packaging the 150th cookie for my friend's wedding tomorrow. Now I just have to figure out how to get them down to my car: