Wedding dress cookies

I made these for a bridal shower. You can't see the detail too well, but there were three different dress designs:

The meaning of life in one word - Part III

Part I, Part II

I found an old friend the other day. She's been in the same place for 31 years, while I have moved around a lot...changing jobs and addresses and my last name. I've often thought of her and thought about finding her. I knew she was nearby, but never took the time to look her up.

So the other day when I had a couple of hours to fill between one thing and another, I found myself talking a walk in the sunshine surrounded by green grass, colorful flowers, noisy trees (I'm in 17-year-cicada country) and carved stones. Gravestones, that is. Cindy's was lovely...embedded with a rosary.

She was walking to school when she was struck by a falling light pole, which was falling because it was hit by a car driven by one of two guys who thought drag racing was a cool idea. As I remember it, she died a week later.

When you reflect on such a life - cut short in such a stupid way at 17 - it's natural to think "what a waste". And of course, it was. But no life - even one so brief - is without meaning. For here she was...remembered with love by those who had a relationship with her. This place is full of such memories. The dates on the stones reflect the longest and shortest of lives. My guess is that most of these graves are not visited at all any more, the loved ones who cried there long gone, perhaps even buried nearby.

Are the people who are not visited forgotten? By mankind, maybe. But not by God. For each soul that once lived in these earthly shells is dear to His heart.

And it is our relationship with God that is the most important of all.

(continued)

The meaning of life in one word - Part II

Read Part I

re·la·tion·ship

1. a connection, association, or involvement.
2. connection between persons by blood or marriage.
3. an emotional or other connection between people: the relationship between teachers and students.
4. a sexual involvement; affair.*

—Synonyms 1. dependence, alliance, kinship. 2. affinity, consanguinity.

(Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)Based on the Random
House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.)


Think about all your relationships. There are so many kinds...family, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, schoolmates, teacher/student, pastor/congregant, coworkers, internet buddies, even store clerks and service providers. Each of our relationships is a connection with a combination of depth, length and importance. And each one is a piece of the meaning of our lives.

As you go through your day, you probably don't think about each relationship and what the interaction with that person means to you (or them). Was the encounter positive or negative? Was it give and take, or was it one-sided (did you only give or only take)? Were you glad to have seen or talked to that person? And what about the relationships with people you didn't interact with today? Even the relationships you neglect or avoid are meaningful.

In the book and movie The Five People You Meet in Heaven, a guy named Eddie dies thinking that his life didn't mean much because he never got to live the life he dreamed of. He wanted to be an engineer, but instead spent all of his life (with the exception of serving in the army during a war) as the maintenance man at an amusement park. The five people he meets are there to teach him just how meaningful his life was.

I don't know about you, but I sure don't want to be dead or dying before I realize what each relationship in my life means! I want to experience it every moment of the day, in every encounter. I don't want to go through life just skimming the surface...I want to experience life deeply. I want to go to bed at night knowing that even though I sleep alone, I am never really alone, because I am connected.

And the most important relationship in my life? Well, that one I'll tell you about next time.

(continued)

*Notice how the word "connection" is missing from this definition? An interesting subject for another day.

Did you ever think I would say THIS?

I know I owe you another post on the meaning of life, and I'm working on it. But right now I have to shower and get to bed because I am exhausted from...




...wait for it...




...my hip hop dance class.

The meaning of life in one word

A couple of months ago I was doing my normal drive to Michigan for a visit. This was going to be a week with the kids only, as their mom and dad were on a romantic trip for their 25th anniversary.

I was within a mile of my destination when the podcast I had been listening to started to really touch my heart. I felt that what I was hearing was something extremely important because that heart started to race. I ended up pulling over a couple of blocks from the house so I could really listen to what the speaker was saying. It's a good thing I pulled over, because I burst into tears.

The speaker - Ravi Zacharais - is a preacher who travels all over the world. He was preaching on "The Pursuit of Meaning - Regaining the Wonder" (you can get the podcast here). At one point Ravi talked about the tragedy of traveling so much that whenever he came home, his little girl Naomi, still in her walker, would not recognize him. After a particularly long trip...

...I arrived home and little Nimmi was in her walker. As I said at that time her cheeks were so bulging that it made her eyes look like an afterthought - cute as a button. I had been actually traveling for so long I was not sure that she would remember me. And when I came there and walked into the kitchen where she was with Grandma sitting at the kitchen table she was in her walker, I put the two suitcases down and she lifted up her chubby countenance and looked at me and I looked back. For about one minute we had a staring contest. And finally she made a charge in my direction and nearly flipped over that walker. I put my arms out as her two arms shot out like pistons...I picked her up and wrapped my arms around her as she nuzzled with her face resting on my shoulder. And as I looked with that tiny little body wrapped in my own arms I looked over to see Grandma, instantly the tears started to run down the face.

Ladies and gentlemen, before God I beg you to believe me. Of all the thrills of lucrative benefits that the business of the preaching world could have brought to me; of all the wonder that comes from preaching at a conference of such great names; of all the joy that comes from meeting other people at conferences and what have you, of reading some great books and studying philosophy as much as it can dazzle your mind...all of them paled for so long into insignificance as I realized in that one minute I learned more about the meaning of life than all the books in philosophy I had ever read.

Meaning comes from relationship.

(continued)

The meaning of life

Well, that's quite a subject to start when it's already past my bedtime. It's an age-old question, asked at least once by probably 99% of all people who ever lived.

What is the meaning of life?

Can you give an answer in one word? I can.

Think about it.

**Liveblogging** S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y

For the first time in as long as I can remember (OK, that's not saying much), it's Saturday and I have no obligations to fulfill, no work assignments, no appointments, no social engagements. I've got stuff I should/could/would do...but if I did absolutely nothing the consequences would simply be a wasted day.

So what am I doing up at 5:53 am? Well, I've wasted enough days in my life already and I don't want this to be another one. Therefore, I'm going to "liveblog" the entire day and document what I do. To you it might be a tad boring, but to me it's a challenge. So check back often for up-t0-the-minute coverage of a day in the life of Aunt Judie!

**6:02a** Finished first post. OK, that goes without saying.

**7:32a** I realized as I was getting dressed that the reason I have nothing to do today is that I set it aside as a "catch-up" in preparation for going to Michigan for a visit. But the work reason for my visit was cancelled. Also, I usually teach a computer class on Saturday mornings, and this is our "off week" between sessions.

So far I've showered, dressed and done my morning study/prayer time. I'm studying a devotional called "Women of the Bible", and this week it's about Esther. Talk about God using unexpected people in big ways! I also made my bed...and discovered it must have been a while. I found four books and three magazines...yikes! Now I'm off to breakfast at one of my favorite spots. Not sure which one...I'll decide in the car.

**11:03a** Ended up at Butterfield's, one of those places that serves only breakfast and lunch. Which is appropriate, since I had the Monte Cristo sandwich and it was so big I'm having the rest for lunch. (By the way...it was good, but not as good as yours, Carol!) After I got home I made two batches of cookie dough which is cooling in the frig. Now I'm off to the craft store for ideas...I'm making samples of wedding cookies for two customers.

**1:32p** Back from the stores...didn't find any new ideas for cookie decorating or packaging. This is the hardest part...coming up with the designs. Well, I think I'll take a break and watch a movie, which I haven't done for a long time.

**6:01p** Watched "Casino Royale". Not usually an action movie fan, but that was good! Then took a nap. Time to bake cookies!

**9:03p** Six batches of cookies and four loads of laundry...DONE! I think I'll watch another movie.

**11:55p** Well, with one pleasant interruption for a phone chat with my sister-in-law, I finished the movie "Braveheart" (which, by the way, is a chick flick despite the blood and gore) and find myself at the end of a pretty productive and fun day. Gotta be at church early, so I'll say goodnight.

Thanks for tuning in!

Unforgiven - Part V

Read Part I
Read Part II
Read Part III
Read Part IV

In 1933 a baby girl who would become my mother was born. I'll never know what made her the person she was when I knew her. But I'm pretty sure she did not purposely become an alcoholic. I know she did not have a childhood dream to someday abandon her husband and four young children. And she certainly did not intend to die at age 43.

She died thirty years ago, and it took over twenty years for me to forgive her. In all that time my unforgiveness did not hurt her one bit. It only hurt me and, in turn, caused me to hurt the people in my life.

Forgiveness is the only thing that can end the cycle of hurt.

There is a lot more to forgiveness, as far as achieving it in every situation and with every person or institution that has harmed you. You may find that you even have to forgive God Himself.

I spent (wasted) a lot of time being mad at God for my life. Why couldn't I have what other people had - two parents, my own room, a house in the suburbs, a fast metabolism and a yearning for veggies and exercise instead of donuts and television? Accepting my situation and seeing all the blessings in my life took many years, many tears and lots of prayer.

Still today I have trouble letting some things go. Just last week an old friend caught me bringing up an old hurt (a perceived slight, really). I tried to convince him that I wasn't bitter about it anymore, but he wasn't buying it. If I had truly achieved forgiveness for that incident I would not be mentioning it. He was right.

As I said earlier, forgiveness is simple but it is not easy. The "simple" part is to realize that unforgiveness only hurts you, not your enemy. Think about the grudges you are holding right now. Who are you hurting? If you forgive today, even if you don't feel like it, you would wake up tomorrow a different person. Try it with something small and see what it does for you. Then move on to something bigger.

The "not easy" part is to live in a state of forgiveness, every day, in every situation. It's a constant struggle. And you can't fake it, either. You can't say you forgive then still hold onto your grudge...it will show in your words and actions. Ask God to help you see the truth and forgive completely.

We need to forgive others as God has forgiven us. It's for our own good.

Unforgiven - Part IV

Read Part I
Read Part II
Read Part III

Getting called nasty names by an old guy on the radio is one thing. How do you forgive a child abuser or a mass murderer? It helps to try to see the person through God's eyes. I can't say it any better than Stormie Omartian.

She had been forgiving her abusive, mentally-ill mother for years. It took a long time because her unforgiveness had been deep and needed to be "unraveled, one layer at a time":

One day as I was again asking God to give me a forgiving heart, I felt led to pray, "Lord, help me to have a heart like Yours for my mother."

Almost immediately I had a vision of her as I had never seen before. She was a beautiful, fun-loving, gifted woman who bore no resemblance to the person I knew. My understanding told me I was seeing her the way God had made her to be and not the way she had become. What an amazing revelation! I couldn't have conjured it up myself. Nothing had ever surpassed my hatred for my mother, except perhaps the depth of my own emptiness. Yet now I felt compassion and sympathy for her.

The Virginia Tech killer, Chevy Chase's mother and stepfather, Stormie's mother, my mother...they were all born innocent. They all laughed and played as children, they had hopes and dreams. They were made in the image of God, just like you and me.

continued

Unforgiven - Part III

Read Part I
Read Part II

Acknowledging the pain is important, but it is only the first step. How do you leap from that to forgiveness?

You know how your parents would tell you to do things that are for your own good? Things you didn't feel like doing...finishing your homework, cleaning your room, going to the dentist? You knew these had benefits, but if it were your choice you might not have done them because you didn't feel like it.

Same thing with forgiveness. God instructs us to do it...whether we feel like it or not! Because it is good for us.

That's where there is a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. "Forgiveness doesn't make the other person right; it makes you free." (Stormie Omartian)

I read that the Rutgers basketball players have forgiven Don Imus for the awful names he called them. You know what this does for those ladies? It allows them to move on with their lives. And while Imus is surely grateful to have it, their forgiveness did not excuse what he did or benefit him in any material way...he still lost his job.

One of my favorite preachers is Joyce Meyer. In a recent TV show on forgiveness, she made an excellent point. She said that not forgiving is like taking poison hoping your enemy will die.

continued

Unforgiven - Part II

Read Part I

Maybe Chevy Chase is not refusing to forgive his abusers. Maybe he wants to and he doesn't know how. Like a lot of things in life, forgiving is simple...but it's not easy.

Any one of us could sit and make a list of the wrongs that have been done to us...from real or perceived (doesn't make a difference) unfairness to the most unthinkable horrors. Call it a "Victim Resume". I have one. In the course of many years of searching for an answer to my weight problem and unhappiness (thinking the former caused the latter), I have written my Resume down - in detail - and in doing so was able to get closer to letting every item go.

For me the first step was acknowledging that all of the things on my Victim Resume actually happened, that they were wrong, and that they hurt me. I had to let myself feel the pain instead of swallowing it (food being my numbing drug of choice). My Resume was long, and it had some serious stuff on it. But just the act of writing about it, letting myself feel the pain and cry about it made a huge difference in my life.

There are several medical conditions which cause people not to feel physical pain - children who can have broken bones or serious burns without realizing it; diabetics who can have an infection in their feet and not know it until it is too late to avoid amputation. In these cases, not feeling the pain is certainly not a desireable situation.

Emotional pain is the same way. It might seem like not feeling the pain would be a good thing. But just like a broken bone or an infection, the damage of emotional hurt is not going to go away because we ignore it...it is just going to get worse. Eventually, the damage is so great that it poisons every aspect of our lives.

continued

Unforgiven

The events of the last couple of weeks have caused me to ponder the subject of forgiveness. First it was the Imus thing, then the human destruction of Virginia Tech, and now Chevy Chase.

Huh? Well, I read this morning that the comedian Chevy Chase (Saturday Night Live in the old days, Fletch and Vacation movies) has revealed in an authorized biography that he was the victim of horrible physical and emotional abuse as a child. And he refuses to forgive his abusers:

"I always turn to it in my mind . . . I'll never forgive them. At their graves I didn't. It was too hard for me. You would think a grown man could shake it off, as the coffin was being lowered, to say, 'I forgive you.' I don't forgive."

I guess you can't really blame him. Just as you can't blame the families of the shooter's victims for hating the man who slaughtered their loved ones, or the basketball players deeply hurt by the words of a radio talk show host, who didn't know them and who they had probably had never heard of before.

But they are also missing the point. They misunderstand the purpose and nature of forgiveness.

In her excellent book Lord, I Want to Be Whole, author Stormie Omartian makes the case for forgiveness as one of the first steps of emotional healing. I am not familiar with what other faiths say about forgiveness. But as Christians, God instructs us to forgive those who have hurt us.

But why should we? The people who have hurt us don't deserve our forgiveness! Well, we don't deserve the forgiveness God grants us, either.

(continued)

Easter Cookies

Made these for the church Easter brunch:

Every girl's crazy about...

...a sharp dressed man.

Guys, take it from me...and ZZ Top! There is just something about a man in a suit and tie, clean-shaved face, freshly-trimmed hair. Wowsa!

As inspiring as the service was for the importance of the occasion, being in church yesterday with all those men - who every other week are in polo shirts or even dress shirts with no tie or jacket - was a surprisingly lovely experience.

Unfortunately, I felt like Cinderella's ugly stepsister, since I hadn't bought a new dress for Easter and went to church in slacks and the same top I'd worn there a hundred times before. I won't make that mistake again!

Guys - and gals - when you have a chance to dress up, do it!

Loosen my fingers, Lord

This morning I was able to catch up on some of the reading that I missed during Lent because of letting myself get too busy with other things (and too lazy to get up early in the morning, my best time for reading and study). My bad.

Wow, I missed a lot of good stuff. The following is from a Lenten reflections booklet called "Stay With Us, Lord", by Father Robert Barron. The one that hit my heart and mind hard was called "In the Loop of Grace". I'll quote it in full (emphasis mine):

"While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)

This is one of the great metaphors in the Bible: God is like a father who gives and gives and gives. God's whole being is "for-giving". When we receive the divine life as a gift, we're meant to give it away. There's the trick. There's the heart of the spiritual life. What you receive as a gift - which is everything we have - give as a gift.

When you draw on the divine life and give it away, you get more. We exist in a kind of loop of grace: what's received is given, and when it's given away, you receive more. It's a basic biblical truth. Write it in your hearts: when you cling to your being, you lose it. When you cling to your gifts and your talents, you lose them. You have them and they multiply only in the measure that you learn how to give them away.

Tomorrow we shall rejoice in the glory of the Risen Lord. We will celebrate and feast and be glad that Lent, with all it's sacrifice and gloom, is behind us. But what will we take with us in the days ahead...those "ordinary" days between the two "biggies"?

What I hope to take with me is the renewed realization that my very life is a gift. And that even when I don't think anybody could possibly miss the gifts I neglect to share, I'll remember that those gifts are nothing if I don't turn around and give them to others.

What gifts are you hesitant to share? You'll miss them when they are gone.

Loosen my fingers, Lord, that I may be more willing to give away what I have received.

Father Robert Barron's web site is here. Check it out.

God is always working

It's been a couple of weeks of busy, but there have also been a lot of inspiring stories come my way. (FYI...after this post I'm going to go back to reading Grammar for Dummies...not kidding.)

This story hits my heart for several reasons. It's long, but if you ever doubt that God has a plan, even when things seem seriously screwed up, you might change your mind after reading this. My thanks to the author, my nephew Michael, who gave me permission to reprint this in full.

I sent you a letter about a month ago asking for prayers and financial support for the 2007 Juarez mission trip through Faith Lutheran Church. I figured it would be good to drop a letter to thank you for all your support and tell you a little bit about how the trip went.

We left for El Paso on Saturday and had a layover in Chicago. We were on the plane for about an hour when we were told that due to the ice storm we were not going to be able to take off. We ended up having to spend Saturday night sleeping on the airport floor. A news crew came by and intereviewed a few people from our group and the interviews were played on CNN as well as some local news channels. We were looking for a flight to El Paso, but couldn't get on one out until Monday afternoon. We got on the plane Monday afternoon and sat for about 20 minutes when the pilot announced that he had too many hours without any rest, and they had no other crew. We had to get off that plane and find another way to get the 50 people from our group into El Paso. We ended up dividing into three small groups and finally all got to Juarez by Tuesday around 5:00pm. We were planning on getting there on Saturday night, so our time in Juarez got cut in half.

While we were stuck in the airport for three days some people began to become disappointed that we couldn't be working in Juarez yet, but God was still working in Juarez without us. Seven guys went down to Juarez three or four days early so they could have our sites ready to work on as soon as the rest of the group got there. They, along with the help of four or five Mexican men, were able to help get the foundations laid, and keep the construction on schedule. It was disappointing that we couldn't be there the time we planned, but it was a blessing that the men in the community came together to help us get things done. Lisa, Melissa, and Stormy (the women who run the church) were thrilled to have the Mexican men help out. They have been trying for eight years to get the men involved in the church in some way. Men are a big part of the community in Juarez and the boys look up to the men. Since the men aren't involved in the church the boys lose interest when they get older. The men helping lay foundations gave them a way to help the church and community while still being in their comfort zone. Lisa hopes that the men will continue to help out at the church throughout the year and be there next year to help us lay concerete and maybe let us build more houses.

Even though we were only there half of the time, we were still able to have a successful Vacation Bible School program. On our first full day in Juarez we had over 85 people at our first VBS session. Everything went smoothly throughout the week. We did two sessions of VBS each day and provided lunch for the kids in between. Each session of VBS included songs, a drama, a memory verse, a craft, a hygiene lesson, and English as Second Language (ESL) lesson. We tried to keep a theme for each day, it was difficult because of our time constraint, but our themes were "Jesus Gives us Friends", "Jesus is our Friend", and "Jesus Created the World Because He Loves Us". We aim the VBS program at the kindergarten or first grade level. We get kids anywhere from one year old to 15 years old. The hygiene lessons are simply things that we wouldn't dream of having to teach kids in America. We teach things like blowing your nose, brushing your teeth and washing your hands and hair. Everyday we give out things that correspond with the lesson. We gave out Kleenex, toothbrushes and toothpaste, and shampoo and soap. During the ESL lesson we try to teach the kids something positive while teaching them a few English words and phrases. This year all of the ESL lessons had to do with healthy eating.

VBS is the part of the trip that I do (and therefore think is most important), but the main reason we sent 50 people down to Juarez was to build houses. Our group built four houses. The houses are simple; they have three rooms, electrical hookups, but no plumbing. People are so excited to get houses from us. We do a dedication ceremony for each house where the whole team prays over the house ad we give the keys and a Bible to the family getting a house. This is the most moving part of the trip. The families are so happy to get these houses that by American standards would be practically nothing. One of the families who got a house used to live in a tiny camper that would fit in the bed of a normal truck. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except for the fact that this family had eight kids. The family is now finally able to have a decent place to live. The people are so appreciative and feel so blessed to be able to get homes from our group.


This trip included a lot more struggles than last year's trip had. But for every setback we had, particularly the three days in O'Hare Airport, something good came out of it. This trip made me understand the ability of God to turn adversity into blessings, and it gave me a better understanding of how much we need to rely on Him in all situations. Last year I came back from Juarez telling everybody what "we" did in Mexico, but this year "we" did nothing. God built four houses and provided for a VBS program and we were just the tools He used to do it. It took me three days in an airport and a nasty fever our last night in Juarez to finally understand this. The gifts of houses for the people in Juarez did not come from Faith Lutheran Church or any individual. The houses were a gift of love from God, and I feel privleged to be a part of this awesome experience.

I want to thank all of you again for making this trip possible through all your prayers and financial support. Without your support, this trip would not have gone nearly as well as it did. Thank you so much. In Christ's love, Mikey.

God and butterflies

I've been busy this week making some of my famous painted cookies for the church bake sale. I was painting this batch of butterflies yesterday:



I had done all the section outlines in black the day before and was painting the insides from a variety of colors I had prepared (royal icing, tinted and thinned out). As I was contemplating the color of each section, it occurred to me that God, while designing all the living things on the earth, had to decide on their color and patterns. He must have had a great time with butterflies! Stripe or dot here? Is this too red? How about a splash of gold? What fun it is to imagine God walking around the earth with His palette of infinite colors!

When I hear a person say they are "not creative"...I always disagree. We were all made in the image of God, and look how creative He is! And whenever we practice our creativity, we're using one of the many special gifts He gave each of us. Don't deny you have the gift of creativity because you're scared somebody won't like what you create - be it art, music, food, words, or anything else that can be created. Explore it and enjoy it, no matter what other people say.

How are you using your creative gifts?

Sweet-n-sassy 16!

Happy (belated) birthday to my niece and goddaughter Amanda, who turned 16 yesterday! I wish you were having a party. Instead, let's go bowling! OK!

Treasure each moment

Hopefully you young people out there don't spend a lot of time thinking about death. I sure wasn't about the time this picture was taken:


That is the late great Uncle Dan at a Christmas party in 1978 in his basement...the same basement I would live in for the first year of our marriage (not til 1994). But that's not me he's got his arm around. That's our friend Janet, who passed away this week. She was also our sister-in-law...her sister married his brother.

We all had a lot of fun together in those days. I would try to explain Daniel's headdress, but you really, really had to be there! I'm so glad we took a lot of pictures in those days too, and took care of them enough that I was able to get them into an album just in the last 10 years or so.

None of us knows if this will be our last day here. It is so very important to treasure each moment, make amends for the wrongs we have done, give forgiveness whenever it is requested (and even when it isn't), and tell those we love that we do. That's what life is all about...relationships.

Rest in peace, Janet. You are greatly loved.

Hollywood just doesn't get it

In a post about some ridiculous movies currently in production, the Real Live Preacher gives us some good advice:

Listen, I'm just a guy with a bad haircut from a small church you've never heard of, but I hope you'll listen to me for a moment because I have something important to say. When it comes to God, religion, spirituality, whatever you want to call it, ignore just about everything you see on television or in movies. If you are serious about making a spiritual connection with a power greater than ourselves, try the following suggestions:

• Let go of big things and embrace little things.
• Ignore loud things and listen for quiet things.
• Put aside obvious things and seek out hidden things.
• Forget easy things and learn hard and ancient things.
• Stop saving your life and start losing it.
• Let your thinking and believing become doing and serving.
• Quit trying to arrive and become at home on the journey.
• Lose your road maps and find a wise guide to walk with you.

Love the idea of God with all your heart, soul, mind, body, life, work, and strength. And while you're at it, try loving other people as much as you love yourself. You won't be able to do either of these, but trying will be very good for you.

Do these things all of your days and forever. Do these things and live.