Read Part I
Maybe Chevy Chase is not refusing to forgive his abusers. Maybe he wants to and he doesn't know how. Like a lot of things in life, forgiving is simple...but it's not easy.
Any one of us could sit and make a list of the wrongs that have been done to us...from real or perceived (doesn't make a difference) unfairness to the most unthinkable horrors. Call it a "Victim Resume". I have one. In the course of many years of searching for an answer to my weight problem and unhappiness (thinking the former caused the latter), I have written my Resume down - in detail - and in doing so was able to get closer to letting every item go.
For me the first step was acknowledging that all of the things on my Victim Resume actually happened, that they were wrong, and that they hurt me. I had to let myself feel the pain instead of swallowing it (food being my numbing drug of choice). My Resume was long, and it had some serious stuff on it. But just the act of writing about it, letting myself feel the pain and cry about it made a huge difference in my life.
There are several medical conditions which cause people not to feel physical pain - children who can have broken bones or serious burns without realizing it; diabetics who can have an infection in their feet and not know it until it is too late to avoid amputation. In these cases, not feeling the pain is certainly not a desireable situation.
Emotional pain is the same way. It might seem like not feeling the pain would be a good thing. But just like a broken bone or an infection, the damage of emotional hurt is not going to go away because we ignore it...it is just going to get worse. Eventually, the damage is so great that it poisons every aspect of our lives.
continued
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