Cookies - Classic Spritz Batch 1

Making the Classic Spritz cookie recipe from Pampered Chef. The cookies are in the oven now.

What I've learned so far:

1. I need more cookie sheets (I have one...duh).
2. Butter does not adequately soften in four hours if you keep your apartment's thermostat at 60 degrees overnight.
3. Spritz cookies shot from the cookie press don't stick well to parchment paper (I'm supposed to be using a baking stone, but don't have one for cookies).
4. Recipes lie about how much they yield. This one says 6-7 dozen. If I'm lucky, I'll get 3 dozen (but maybe I did something wrong).
5. Almond extract smells good (I used it instead of vanilla).
6. My oven thermostat is off...I have to set it at 400 degress to get it to 375 degrees.

Here they are...hot from the oven! I took them out at 10 minutes. I'll set the timer for 12 minutes for the next batch:

The Great Cookie Experiment

It's three o'clock in the morning. I have risen at this unusual hour to take the butter out of the frig to soften. For at sunrise, the Great Cookie Experiment of 2005 begins!

I'm making cookies to donate to the choir for their homemade Christmas cookie sale, plus I'm making extras for a few other occasions. It has been years since I've baked cookies from scratch.

Stay tuned all weekend for my "liveblogging" reports on turning this:


into yummy, pretty cookies. And what about the ones that might be yummy but not so pretty? I'll bring those to work, where free food never goes to waste!

Goodbye, sweet boy

There is something universally tragic about the death of a child. And it doesn't matter how old the "child" is, in the scheme of life it just seems very wrong for parents to outlive their offspring. It's not how it is "supposed" to be.

But it happens every day.

Yesterday we said a final goodbye to Jonathan. This little boy was born with severe handicaps, lived a good portion of his life in the hospital, and died just a few weeks before his second birthday. He was loved by many people. His mother and father, troubled by many things in their lives having nothing to do with their son, loved him and took care of him as best they could.

My faith tells me that for the first time, Jonathan is now laughing and playing and has no pain. I imagine him in a playground being pushed on the swings by my Daniel, who in many ways never grew up. I'll bet Jesus has his hands full with the two of them up there!

Human life is both miraculous and fragile. None of us knows when ours will be over. None of us knows how long we have to live the life God intended. But every single life, no matter how long, has a purpose.

Perhaps the purpose of Jonathan's short life was to expand our capacity to love.

The longest summer

Twenty seven years and four months after my graduation from high school, I have enrolled for college. I start classes in January. Even for a world-class procrastinator like myself, this one is a doozy!

Depending on how much work I can handle, I should get my degree in 8-10 years, God willing.

Several of my nieces and nephews are working on the choosing and getting into college thing right now. There are a lot of factors in play when making these types of decisions. When I was their age, college was not a priority for me. We didn't have the money, for sure. But if I really, really wanted to go I would have figured out a way.

Back then you could get a pretty good job without a degree. But now, not having that degree has seriously limited my options. About 99% of the job listings I read have a degree requirement. Hence my adventure as a middle-aged college student begins.

My advice to you, dear ones, is to continue with school. Whether it is full time, part time, away from home or close to home, online, whatever. Work toward that goal of a degree, even if it's going to take a long time. It will be worth it.

And if your parents are paying, be very grateful. Lots of us never had that opportunity. And if you cannot go to the college of your choice, compromise and make the best decision you can. You never know what God has in store for you. Maybe your fifth-choice college is where you will meet your destiny.

Laundry Lesson

If you go to a coin laundry, here's a valuable tip from me:

Make sure you have your quarters before you fill the machines and dump soap on your clothes!

Last night for the first time since I moved to my new apartment building, the change machine in the laundry room was malfunctioning. It would not take my $10 bill. I found another $10 bill and it would not take that one either. I ended up going across the street, in the rain, to the store to break the $10. I didn't want to buy any food, so I bought a lottery ticket. Luckily, the machine then took my singles and fives. I don't know where I would have gotten quarters if the machine was totally broken.

Anyway, here's the bright side. If I win the $165 million lotto tonight, it will only be because the change machine malfunctioned. Then I can hire somebody to do my laundry!

Hymn of Promise

There are several songs we sing in church that I love so much that I cannot get through them without crying. This one is especially touching to me now.

Hymn of Promise
Words and Music by Natalie A. Sleeth

In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity,
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.

I feel like God has promised me that I can be a butterfly, but I've been stuck in a cocoon most of my life. My recovery is me struggling to emerge from that cocoon.

I hope that someday, when I am healed, God will grant me the ability to sing this loud and strong.

A time to heal

There comes a time in life when what you are doing to ease your pain becomes more painful than the pain you are trying to ease. That strange sentence will make perfect sense to anyone who has struggled to overcome an addiction.

It has taken me my entire adult life to admit that my weight problem is just the end result of an addiction to food. I use food the way some people use alcohol or drugs - to dull my senses and stuff down my emotions.

By the grace of God and the fellowship of loving people with the same problem, I am recovering from my addiction, one day at a time. In fact, today marks the 30th time in a row I have abstained from compulsive overeating for just one day.

But I am just at the beginning. There are a lot of tears and struggles ahead of me. But being addicted to overeating is now more painful than facing what I've been hiding from. And like changing the bandages on a bad burn, it's gonna hurt a lot. But it's the only way to heal.

Please pray for me.

A time to think, a time to feel

I was going to leave the commentary about Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath to others. There are thousands of people on the Web, on TV and in newspapers giving their opinion about what went wrong and who's to blame. I try to read an equal amount from all sides, disregarding the very extreme edge of each (such as the CIA has control over the weather or that God smote a certain city to punish sinners).

But the more I read, the more it struck me...how differences of opinion are often driven by the difference between thinking and feeling.

God created us human beings with both intellect and emotion, and these are meant to be in a balance. Some situations call for more feeling than thinking, some situations need the opposite. Some, like the response to a natural or man-made disaster, require mostly reason and logic to get through the immediate emergency, and less of the emotion that, while being the basis of compassion, could easily overwhelm our logic. Once the crisis has passed, we need to get back to a balance of reason and emotion when developing long-term solutions.

As you read or watch coverage of the disaster, take a moment to note if what the people are saying is based on emotion or reason. Then take your analysis one more step by ascertaining the possible motives of the people you are observing. And when you form your opinion, are you doing it based facts you believe to be true or what you feel about what you think you know?

What happened before and after Hurricane Katrina is tragic. No doubt mistakes were made. No doubt we will learn a lot more in the coming days, weeks and months. No doubt we have to be better prepared for the next time (there is always a next time).

But when you hear a politician or news reporter or celebrity lay all the blame at the feet of one person or institution or organization to the exclusion of all others, keep plenty of room for doubt in your own mind. Consider their motives, their emotions and their knowledge of the facts.

Think first, then feel.

Thank you, Lord...

...for one more birthday.

My cup overflows.

Pics from my new place

Here are a couple of pictures taken from the balcony of my new apartment.

The top picture is facing east. You can't really see it here, but most days I can see the Sears Tower and some of the other tall buildings in downtown Chicago (about 26 miles away).




This one is my west view at sunset, the beauty of which no camera can truly capture.

Happy Anniversary!

Aunt Judie and the late great Uncle Dan
August 20, 1994

Know thyself - Part II

Read Part I

I actually did write Part II Monday after counting the train cars, but my post was rambling, got off the point and was almost mean in some spots. So I saved it as a "Draft" and decided to wait until I was feeling better to re-write it.

Anyway, it's obvious that what I ate Saturday affected my energy level. Not sure if it was how much I ate, what I ate, or both. I suppose the only way to tell if it was the food itself is to not eat so much of it next time. And there is another factor - changing hormones. You teensters know about those. Well guess what? I'm heading into the flip side of that coin.

I think this is how the sequence goes:

1. Hormone shift
2. Energy wave
3. Crave wrong stuff
4. Eat wrong stuff
5. Eat too much of said wrong stuff
6. Energy wave prematurely crashes
7. Tired
8. Crave wrong stuff
9. Eat wrong stuff
10. Hormone shift...

...and so on...and so on...and so on.

So what to do? First, recognize a wave and get as much done as I can before it crashes. Next, don't kill it with too much of the wrong food. Then, try to figure out a way to smooth out the waves (to me it's more fun in a pool than the ocean). And finally - and this is the most important part of all - NEVER, EVER make any life-important decisions while I'm at either end of that wave.

I'm feeling better after many days of "crash" mode. I made a conscious decision to eat a little better (and lighter), and I'm heading into the weekend with a smile.

Get to know yourself. Pay attention to the way things make you feel. And if something within your control makes you feel bad, change it. Easier said than done, I know. But never give up!

The Count would be so proud!

You know "The Count" from Sesame Street? He would count anything, anytime. I just counted the number of cars on the coal train that passed my building:

136

I wonder if the people in automobiles stuck at the crossing gate waiting for that train to pass counted the cars.

OK, this post stinks. I'll work on finishing my story from Saturday.

Know thyself

I think I've talked before about how my energy level goes through phases. Sometimes I have this wave of energy that, once I recognize it, I consciously choose to make the most of. One of those waves hit yesterday, after a week of low energy, and I think I got a clue as to the cause (well, part of the cause anyway).

Before lunchtime yesterday, I accomplished the following:

- Cleaned out my three email boxes, deleting old stuff and organizing what I wanted to keep. As a result, I found a previously-undetected 15% off coupon for my favorite bookstore (sweet).
- Send out a brochure on a rental property for a friend.
- Made a list of travel tips for the annual canoe trip, which I attended two weeks ago in Michigan (more on that later), so next year I don't forget soap, shampoo and a chair for the bonfire (those without chairs sit on tree stumps).
- Ironed and put away the laundry I did Monday night.
- Changed my bedsheets.
- Finished unpacking from the trip I returned from a week ago, and put away the suitcases I used and the five other suitcases I didn't use that I have been tripping over in the living room.
- Did the dishes.
- Did laundry from this week (while studying for my exam).
- Found homes for everything in the small pile of stuff still left over from my recent move.

Then I went to lunch at one of my favorite restaurants. My favorite menu item there is a delicious variation on Eggs Benedict. I keep meaning to ask for a half order of this divine dish so I don't get so full (a half order would be plenty filling).

So after lunch, here's what I accomplished:

- Went shopping to a few stores for household items.
- Got home and took a break by watching a few episodes of Gilmore Girls on DVD.
- Ironed and put away the laundry.
- Hung a few things on the wall.
- Watched lots more Gilmore Girls.

Compare the five hours before lunch with the nine hours after lunch.

(to be continued)

There's a first time for everything

Lots to tell about the last month...but here's the funniest thing.

A few nights ago I'm doing laundry in the community laundry room of the new apartment building where I moved to (more on that later). I'm reading my book while my clothes are washing. A young mother with a drooling baby in one arm is trying to get her laundry out of the dryers with the other. I offered to help by holding the baby. So while she's folding his little things and I'm bouncing Mr. Drool Meister on my lap, she says to me...

wait for it...


here it comes...


"Do you have any grandchildren?"

Um, while technically I am old enough to be a grandmother, and it has been several years (ok, at least 15) since I was carded, I have always thought that I looked kind of young for my age. Granted, I was not looking my best...no makeup, wearing the shirt I painted my apartment in (more on that later). It was funny...but not funny. I told her I had nine nieces and nephews, and I think she realized she might have made a faux pas (social boo boo). No biggie, though. I'll forget about it soon enough.

Actually, no I won't. You never forget your first time.

Bumper Sticker Wisdom

Saw this one today and it just cracked me up!

Ok, so it might have serious spiritual connotations. I think it's funny.

TV and me

So I'm telling my sister-in-law the other day that I'm giving up the TV again while I study for my big Project Management exam, and she starts laughing. She tells me she is still waiting for the follow up to my post from three months ago for an explanation of why I got a TV after years without one. (Gee, could my lack of posts have anything to do with having a TV? Hmmmm...good question.)

It started with the cable company offering a huge discount on my internet service if I got basic cable TV. Then it grew with the rationalization that I wanted to do "research" on what was on TV so I could write about it here. And it ended up with me spending lots of time watching some good shows, some bad shows, and a lot of movies I ACTUALLY OWN ON DVD!

My addiction to television defies rational explanation. There are days when it does not interest me at all. And there are other days when I can sit for eight hours straight (assuming there is food readily available) flipping channels from less than a foot away (it's a 13" unit that sits on my desk).

All I know is that, for now, it's gone again. I have to take this big exam by the end of September. I've spent every Tuesday evening since February in class, plus hours each week on homework, and I'm looking at about 100 hours in the next two months of test prep study. No time for TV or vacations or much of anything else.

But it will be worth it. When I'm done, I will have accomplished one of the biggest goals I've ever set for myself. And what should I do immediately after I accomplish that goal? Set another one!

And leave the TV off.

Another book I wish I had a long time ago

In my last post, I talked about how sometimes I go to the library or book store and scan the shelves and a book I need to read just suddenly pops out (not literally, but it catches my eye).

This one was in the library, on the very bottom shelf. Having lost my alcoholic mother to divorce when I was eight, and death when I was 17 (and she just 43), I guess I'm programmed to easily spot anything with the word "Mother" in it.

Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman is one of those books that makes you exclaim "That's the way I feel!" all throughout. Because nobody knows how you feel unless they have been through something similar.

Even now, whenever I hear some of my friends talk about the difficulties they have with their mothers (and some of them are very serious), I scream inside "at least you have a mother!" My greatest unfulfillable wish is to have had that mother-daughter relationship.

I have an internet friend (a fellow blogger) who lost her mother to cancer last year. What this friend doesn't know yet is that the pain will always be there, and will be worse around major life milestones. But her life will get better. She will have joy and sorrow and everything we all have. One day she will discover that when she thinks of her mother she will smile more often than she cries. And one day, if it is God's will, she will be a mother herself.

But it takes time, and it takes help. Get this book, my friend. And when you go off to college in the fall, please find some kind of support group...people with similar experiences that you can talk to. Being away from home is hard enough. You have so much more to deal with. Don't try to deal with everything alone! That's a mistake I made and still make sometimes now. We are not meant to heal in isolation.

There are people out there who know how you feel. And of course God knows how you feel. You are not alone.

The book I wish I had 25 years ago!

Does this ever happen to you? You're in the library or book store, either looking for something specific or just browsing, and your eye goes to a book that is just exactly what you needed to read? If this has never happened to you, try it. Give yourself some time, and just let your eyes wander. You may find something that will change your life!

This has happened to me twice in the last few months. Let me first tell you about the one I just finished reading. The Big Sister's Guide to the World of Work is a MUST-READ for every woman who works now or who is about to enter the workforce (some men I know would benefit greatly from it too). I have been working a loooooonnnnnggg time, and I can testify to personally experiencing almost everything in this book. It's a fun read...the authors are clever writers. I just wish I had this information a long time ago...who knows where I could be now! But it's never too late to make a change (I still have a long time until retirement).

The biggest myth out there is that if you work hard and pay your dues, important people at work will notice and reward you. I clung to that belief for too many years, and I wasted a lot of emotional energy fighting to fit that square peg into the round hole of reality. No matter where you are in your work life, you need to learn what really matters so you can stop going through your days wondering what the heck you're doing wrong and start taking control of your career.

As is my usual habit, I devoured this book in a few days and now I'm going back to savor it chapter by chapter, starting with Chapter 11 - "Y-O-U: the Ultimate Planning Machine". In a way, I've already started my "DestQuest" (gotta read the book to find out what this is) by going to school for my project management certification, but I still need to plan what I actually want to do with it.

I'll tell you about the other book that seemed to jump off the shelf at me next time.

Diploma Day

Wow, I knew it had been a long time since I posted, but I didn't realize how long. That's the thing about time...in reality it goes along at a steady pace, but there are phases in life that go by faster than others. Right now with school and work I'm so busy it seems that weeks fly by like days used to.

When my nephew B started college it seemed like such a long road ahead until he would finish. But all the sudden here we are...it's his Graduation Day! Well, I'm sure it's a lot different for him, having done all that work maybe it doesn't seem like it flew by. But for us in the spectator section it does. Heck, to me it seems almost like just yesterday I saw him for the first time!

Congratulations, B. The people in your life are all very proud of you, and love you very much.