Last week as I was pulling my car into the parking lot of my office building, I heard breaking news on the radio. There was an unconfirmed report of an explosion and fire at a west suburban high school.
My niece's high school.
I didn't panic. I waited for a few minutes to see if there was more to report. Then I went into the office and called my sister. The line was busy. I figured that if the school was evacuated my niece would call her mother first (I was right, that's why the her phone was busy). Within an hour the story was on the web and I found out there were no injuries.
It ended up that an unhappy student, who had begged his parents weeks before for permission to drop out, had ignited water bottles filled with gasoline and surrounded by newspaper in is locker. Well, he got his wish...he's out of school now. And facing 10 years in prison.
This whole thing baffled me for days. I know high school is difficult, both academically and socially...it was when I was there. But what could be so bad that would drive a person to such action? We don't know the specific's of this young man's life. The story dropped from the news after two days - no injuries, no blood, no story.
And I have to admit it dropped from my mind too. Until I read this column. And this is a middle school!
Is it true? Are most adults clueless about this? Please, I am begging for comments here. I really want to know what is going on.
Friday, February 25, 2005
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
From friends to loves to loving friends - Part III
Read Part I
Read Part II
So here we are, a generation later. Some in our circle of friends have hit the big 5-0, and the rest of us are heading there fast. We watch in amazement as our children form friendships in much the same way we did, and we see into the future.
Because guess what, kids? In twenty years or so you will find yourselves where we are today. You will be immersed in your own lives, working, paying bills, watching your children grow into adults. And once in a great while you will have the opportunity to get together with your friends from these days.
The bonds of friendship you form now will reappear every time you are together, no matter how rare that is. It will be like magic...like nothing has changed - mostly because you keep telling the same old stories (and are in denial about how you are aging). Your kids will be embarassed by your behavior during these gatherings, never realizing that they too will have their turn at such middle-aged reunions.
And what about those Girls from Pittsburgh? Two of them ended up in my own family (or I should say, I ended up in theirs). When I married Daniel, CL became my sister-in-law, and KK became my cousin-in-law! Both are the dearest of friends, especially CL who helped me through the roughest year of my life, which was also one of her roughest.
And the third one - KP - married my ex-boyfiend (the guy of the letters). Twenty years later, she (along with my ex) took a day off of work and drove hundreds of miles to sit all day with me beside my husband's casket.
We were in love with those Guys from Detroit for a reason. They were fine boys. Today they are fine men who have built strong families with wonderful women who just happened to not be us. Because we didn't let pettiness or jealously ruin our relationships when their hearts went in another direction, we are still friends today.
And we all still love each other.
Read Part II
So here we are, a generation later. Some in our circle of friends have hit the big 5-0, and the rest of us are heading there fast. We watch in amazement as our children form friendships in much the same way we did, and we see into the future.
Because guess what, kids? In twenty years or so you will find yourselves where we are today. You will be immersed in your own lives, working, paying bills, watching your children grow into adults. And once in a great while you will have the opportunity to get together with your friends from these days.
The bonds of friendship you form now will reappear every time you are together, no matter how rare that is. It will be like magic...like nothing has changed - mostly because you keep telling the same old stories (and are in denial about how you are aging). Your kids will be embarassed by your behavior during these gatherings, never realizing that they too will have their turn at such middle-aged reunions.
And what about those Girls from Pittsburgh? Two of them ended up in my own family (or I should say, I ended up in theirs). When I married Daniel, CL became my sister-in-law, and KK became my cousin-in-law! Both are the dearest of friends, especially CL who helped me through the roughest year of my life, which was also one of her roughest.
And the third one - KP - married my ex-boyfiend (the guy of the letters). Twenty years later, she (along with my ex) took a day off of work and drove hundreds of miles to sit all day with me beside my husband's casket.
We were in love with those Guys from Detroit for a reason. They were fine boys. Today they are fine men who have built strong families with wonderful women who just happened to not be us. Because we didn't let pettiness or jealously ruin our relationships when their hearts went in another direction, we are still friends today.
And we all still love each other.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
From friends to loves to loving friends - Part II
Read Part I
Before I continue the story of the Boys from Detroit meet the Girls from Pittsburgh, I want to something clear...this story is written from my perspective only. I am speaking only for myself, even when I use an occasional "we" instead of "I".
At that time, the thing we looked foward to most was the Youth Convocation...a four or five-day-long gathering sponsored by the church and held at a college. Not only were we away from home, "living" with our friends instead of our parents...but we would be with those guys we liked/loved so much.
Every other year, this gathering was national, with kids from all over the country. But the first such gathering I attended was the off-year, "diocesan" or regional version. And our diocese contained Chicago, Detroit and Milwaukee (and other areas in the Midwest). So we pretty much had the Guys from Detroit to ourselves, if you don't count the stupid cheerleaders having their "camps" at the same college.
So the next year when the convocation was national and held in Princeton, New Jersey, the character of our friendship was changing but we didn't know it. Connections were made that week that we were not aware of until later. We were out of high school, so really the landscape of our entire lives was changing. And frankly, I didn't like it.
With most of the group in college and the rest working, we had little time to spend together. It seemed like the bond of our group was weakening. Other interests captured us all, and the idea that any of the Girls from Chicago ending up with a Guy from Detroit seemed less and less likely.
Within a few years, three of the Guys from Detroit married Girls from Pittsburgh. Two of the Guys married girls from Buffalo, and a couple of the Guys ended up marrying girls they met in college. In the end, the only Chicago-Detroit relationship to lead to marriage was mine. And that didn't happen until 15 years after Princeton.
When I started writing this story a month ago, I had a point which I am struggling to remember. I think it was that friendships change over time, because we as individuals change. But certain friendships stay with you in a special way. And some people who you barely know (and won't give a chance to) now may end up being some of your best friends later.
(to be continued)
Before I continue the story of the Boys from Detroit meet the Girls from Pittsburgh, I want to something clear...this story is written from my perspective only. I am speaking only for myself, even when I use an occasional "we" instead of "I".
At that time, the thing we looked foward to most was the Youth Convocation...a four or five-day-long gathering sponsored by the church and held at a college. Not only were we away from home, "living" with our friends instead of our parents...but we would be with those guys we liked/loved so much.
Every other year, this gathering was national, with kids from all over the country. But the first such gathering I attended was the off-year, "diocesan" or regional version. And our diocese contained Chicago, Detroit and Milwaukee (and other areas in the Midwest). So we pretty much had the Guys from Detroit to ourselves, if you don't count the stupid cheerleaders having their "camps" at the same college.
So the next year when the convocation was national and held in Princeton, New Jersey, the character of our friendship was changing but we didn't know it. Connections were made that week that we were not aware of until later. We were out of high school, so really the landscape of our entire lives was changing. And frankly, I didn't like it.
With most of the group in college and the rest working, we had little time to spend together. It seemed like the bond of our group was weakening. Other interests captured us all, and the idea that any of the Girls from Chicago ending up with a Guy from Detroit seemed less and less likely.
Within a few years, three of the Guys from Detroit married Girls from Pittsburgh. Two of the Guys married girls from Buffalo, and a couple of the Guys ended up marrying girls they met in college. In the end, the only Chicago-Detroit relationship to lead to marriage was mine. And that didn't happen until 15 years after Princeton.
When I started writing this story a month ago, I had a point which I am struggling to remember. I think it was that friendships change over time, because we as individuals change. But certain friendships stay with you in a special way. And some people who you barely know (and won't give a chance to) now may end up being some of your best friends later.
(to be continued)
Monday, February 07, 2005
Happy Birthday, Aunt G!
My loving Aunt G hits a big milestone today. She's in pretty good health physically, but is facing several other challenges in her life. She has a strong faith and projects a positive attitude no matter what she is going through. She is my role model for an aunt, a wife, a mother, a woman, and a friend.
If I could, I would shield her from every bad thing. But none of us can do that for anyone.
So on your birthday, all I can offer is a simple prayer that God will grant you continued good health and some moments of precious peace.
I love you very much.
If I could, I would shield her from every bad thing. But none of us can do that for anyone.
So on your birthday, all I can offer is a simple prayer that God will grant you continued good health and some moments of precious peace.
I love you very much.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Checking in
Just a quickie to tell you I'm fine...just been busy, then lazy, then a bit under the weather. I'll get back to blogging soon!
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Happy birthday, blog!
It was one year ago today, almost to the minute, that I published my first post.
According to my profile, I average two posts a week and have written 25,677 words. That's not bad, considering I signed up for a correspondence course in creative writing over three years ago and never made it past Lesson 2.
I've said it before...I don't know and don't care how many readers I have. My only wish now is the same as it was when I first started - to offer to the young people in my life some insights that only come from living life. Just like you teach those younger than you...we all learn from each other.
Thanks for reading.
According to my profile, I average two posts a week and have written 25,677 words. That's not bad, considering I signed up for a correspondence course in creative writing over three years ago and never made it past Lesson 2.
I've said it before...I don't know and don't care how many readers I have. My only wish now is the same as it was when I first started - to offer to the young people in my life some insights that only come from living life. Just like you teach those younger than you...we all learn from each other.
Thanks for reading.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
From friends to loves to loving friends
Yesterday I got back from a long visit to the second family in Michigan. We always have such a great time, but this visit was extra special. Not only because it was the Christmas season, but because I got to see a lot of dear old friends.
I guarantee there will be friends like these in your lives. You will meet at a time when you have a lot in common...like belonging to the same church and youth club. You will be about the same age, going through the normal stuff for that age. You will get crushes on each other and imagine your lives together in your future.
In our time, it was the "Girls from Chicago" (which included one from Milwaukee) and the "Guys from Detroit". We would travel to various locations in the Midwest for youth meetings, staying at hotels and having ridiculous numbers of people stay in a room to save money. We had a sliding scale of costs for the rooms...if you got a bed you paid more than if you had to sleep on the floor. The use of pillows and blankets also came at a premium. Actually, nobody slept on the cold, wet beds after a particularly ammo-intensive ice fight.
Eventually special relationships formed between a Chicago gal and a Detroit guy. At that age, I really thought that we would all end up marrying each other. But being still in high school we had seen barely a glimpse of the world and its possibilities.
The Girls from Chicago certainly had not foreseen the possibility that the Guys from Detroit would ever meet girls that they liked more than us. So we never saw it coming - the event that would rock our world and change our circle of friends forever...
...the Guys from Detroit discovered the Girls from Pittsburgh.
(to be continued)
I guarantee there will be friends like these in your lives. You will meet at a time when you have a lot in common...like belonging to the same church and youth club. You will be about the same age, going through the normal stuff for that age. You will get crushes on each other and imagine your lives together in your future.
In our time, it was the "Girls from Chicago" (which included one from Milwaukee) and the "Guys from Detroit". We would travel to various locations in the Midwest for youth meetings, staying at hotels and having ridiculous numbers of people stay in a room to save money. We had a sliding scale of costs for the rooms...if you got a bed you paid more than if you had to sleep on the floor. The use of pillows and blankets also came at a premium. Actually, nobody slept on the cold, wet beds after a particularly ammo-intensive ice fight.
Eventually special relationships formed between a Chicago gal and a Detroit guy. At that age, I really thought that we would all end up marrying each other. But being still in high school we had seen barely a glimpse of the world and its possibilities.
The Girls from Chicago certainly had not foreseen the possibility that the Guys from Detroit would ever meet girls that they liked more than us. So we never saw it coming - the event that would rock our world and change our circle of friends forever...
...the Guys from Detroit discovered the Girls from Pittsburgh.
(to be continued)
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Happy New Year
Good friends, good food, and "I Will Survive" on the karaoke machine. So far 2005 ROCKS!
Love, peace, health and prosperity to you in the New Year!
Love, peace, health and prosperity to you in the New Year!
Saturday, December 25, 2004
The best gift ever
The notion of a "merry" Christmas may seem ridiculous or even cruel to a person who is hurting. All over the world tonight people are silently suffering - people who have recently lost loved ones, or whose loved ones cannot be with them, or who for whatever reason have hearts and spirits that are broken.
But today is about commemorating the best gift ever, God's gift of His Son. For me, Christmas carols do not come close to doing justice to the magnificence of this awesome gift. This simple song, found on the CD "The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir Live...Again", does.
Smile, make them think you're happy
Lie, and say that things are fine.
And hide that empty longing that you feel
Don't ever show it, just keep your heart concealed.
Why are the days so lonely?
I wonder where, where can a heart go free?
And who will dry the tears that no one sees?
There must be someone to share your silent dreams.
Caught like a leaf in the wind
Looking for a friend, where can you turn?
Whisper the words of a prayer
And you'll find Him there, arms open wide, love in His eyes.
Jesus, He meets you where you are.
Oh, Jesus, He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is Jesus
The friend of a wounded heart.
Joy, comes like the the morning
Hope, deepens as you grow
and peace, beyond the reaches of your soul,
Comes blowing through you, for love has made you whole.
Once like a leaf in the wind
Looking for a friend, where could you turn?
You spoke the words of a prayer
And you found Him there, arms open wide, love in His eyes.
Jesus, He meets you where you are.
Oh, Jesus, He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is Jesus
The friend of a wounded heart.
("Friend of a Wounded Heart" Lyrics by Wayne Watson)
Accept this gift from God, and your heart can be healed.
But today is about commemorating the best gift ever, God's gift of His Son. For me, Christmas carols do not come close to doing justice to the magnificence of this awesome gift. This simple song, found on the CD "The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir Live...Again", does.
Smile, make them think you're happy
Lie, and say that things are fine.
And hide that empty longing that you feel
Don't ever show it, just keep your heart concealed.
Why are the days so lonely?
I wonder where, where can a heart go free?
And who will dry the tears that no one sees?
There must be someone to share your silent dreams.
Caught like a leaf in the wind
Looking for a friend, where can you turn?
Whisper the words of a prayer
And you'll find Him there, arms open wide, love in His eyes.
Jesus, He meets you where you are.
Oh, Jesus, He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is Jesus
The friend of a wounded heart.
Joy, comes like the the morning
Hope, deepens as you grow
and peace, beyond the reaches of your soul,
Comes blowing through you, for love has made you whole.
Once like a leaf in the wind
Looking for a friend, where could you turn?
You spoke the words of a prayer
And you found Him there, arms open wide, love in His eyes.
Jesus, He meets you where you are.
Oh, Jesus, He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is Jesus
The friend of a wounded heart.
("Friend of a Wounded Heart" Lyrics by Wayne Watson)
Accept this gift from God, and your heart can be healed.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
I don't feel the way I look
There is something in our brains that distorts what we see when we look at ourselves in the mirror. At over 300 pounds, I have no illusions that I appear to the world as a thin, healthy-looking woman. But when I look in the mirror, I still see something different than what a camera sees.
I got a new PC camera last week and have been playing around taking pictures and video clips. Tonight I bought a new hat, and looking in the rear view mirror in the car on the way home I saw myself as cute and sassy...I liked it. But in front of the camera now it is another story. It's just a hat on top of a very large round face.
The "me" that is seen by the world (the same me that is captured in photos) is not the me I see. The people who know me probably see what I see for the most part. The ones who don't may choose not to get to know me because what they see is undesirable. This may have happened recently when I was introduced to the brother of a friend who thought we might...you know...want to go out. He seemed nice, and I let him know I was interested, but I haven't heard from him. I'm not sure it is because he was turned off by my weight, but that's what I suspect.
This may sound conceited, but I feel sorry for that guy if indeed he wrote me off because of my looks. He missed out on knowing me. Funny thing is, he weighs almost as much as I do and I was willing to give him a chance.
Because the way I look does not reflect the real me. And that's probably true for most people, regardless of their size.
I got a new PC camera last week and have been playing around taking pictures and video clips. Tonight I bought a new hat, and looking in the rear view mirror in the car on the way home I saw myself as cute and sassy...I liked it. But in front of the camera now it is another story. It's just a hat on top of a very large round face.
The "me" that is seen by the world (the same me that is captured in photos) is not the me I see. The people who know me probably see what I see for the most part. The ones who don't may choose not to get to know me because what they see is undesirable. This may have happened recently when I was introduced to the brother of a friend who thought we might...you know...want to go out. He seemed nice, and I let him know I was interested, but I haven't heard from him. I'm not sure it is because he was turned off by my weight, but that's what I suspect.
This may sound conceited, but I feel sorry for that guy if indeed he wrote me off because of my looks. He missed out on knowing me. Funny thing is, he weighs almost as much as I do and I was willing to give him a chance.
Because the way I look does not reflect the real me. And that's probably true for most people, regardless of their size.
Here's something that doesn't happen every day
Yesterday at lunchtime I decided to get my car washed, since the prediction for the rest of the week was drastically falling temperatures.
I waited in the line for the automatic wash for about 15 minutes. Once I got in, I couldn't get out! The moving bar that shoots the water, soap, wax, etc. never got past my front end. It kept starting and stopping and the lighted board kept saying "back up slowly" then "pull foward slowly". It seems I was never in quite the right position.
After five or six times, I tried pulling all the way up, but the front door would not open. I finally pulled all the way back and asked the guy in line behind me to call for help. (I had left both my cell phones on my desk at the office.)
After I was freed, I went to the cashier and asked for my money back. Bless his heart, the guy felt really bad...but he made me a totally ridiculous offer. "Would you like a free car wash?" Um, where - in the chamber of soapy death I just escaped?
I got my $6 back, and drove to the office with soap on my hood and the rest of my car still dirty. But I was glad to be free!
I waited in the line for the automatic wash for about 15 minutes. Once I got in, I couldn't get out! The moving bar that shoots the water, soap, wax, etc. never got past my front end. It kept starting and stopping and the lighted board kept saying "back up slowly" then "pull foward slowly". It seems I was never in quite the right position.
After five or six times, I tried pulling all the way up, but the front door would not open. I finally pulled all the way back and asked the guy in line behind me to call for help. (I had left both my cell phones on my desk at the office.)
After I was freed, I went to the cashier and asked for my money back. Bless his heart, the guy felt really bad...but he made me a totally ridiculous offer. "Would you like a free car wash?" Um, where - in the chamber of soapy death I just escaped?
I got my $6 back, and drove to the office with soap on my hood and the rest of my car still dirty. But I was glad to be free!
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Dreams
A web friend of mine lost her mother to cancer a couple of weeks ago. She's going through a lot of the same feelings and experiences I had when I lost my husband. She recently wrote about a dream she had, in which her mother was so real she actually felt her when they hugged in the dream.
I had many similar dreams in the months after Daniel's death. But there was one dream that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life.
In this dream, Daniel and I were standing side-by-side at the back of what I can only describe as an outdoor church, with trees and flowers everywhere, birds singing, and soft music playing. I was looking up at him, with my left hand threaded under and resting on his offered right arm. He was glowing! He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen - tall and slim, with wavy golden hair and crystal blue eyes. He was in golden attire. At some point I realized I was also beautifully golden - slim, with long gold curls, and wearing a golden gown and a crown of flowers in my hair. We were about to get married, again. I spoke the only words of the dream:
"Isn't it wonderful? Not every man gets a second chance at life."
My first thought upon waking was that this might be what heaven is like. Maybe when you meet your loved ones in heaven, they will appear as their essense - beautiful and full of love. And their love for you will be tangible, something you can feel down to your bones.
For those few sleeping moments, Daniel was alive for me. My friend is feeling her mother's love in her dreams. The love is real, but the dreams can be scary. And they are bittersweet because we wake up, and our loved one is "gone" again.
But they are not completely gone, are they? Not as long as we love them.
I had many similar dreams in the months after Daniel's death. But there was one dream that I will remember and cherish for the rest of my life.
In this dream, Daniel and I were standing side-by-side at the back of what I can only describe as an outdoor church, with trees and flowers everywhere, birds singing, and soft music playing. I was looking up at him, with my left hand threaded under and resting on his offered right arm. He was glowing! He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen - tall and slim, with wavy golden hair and crystal blue eyes. He was in golden attire. At some point I realized I was also beautifully golden - slim, with long gold curls, and wearing a golden gown and a crown of flowers in my hair. We were about to get married, again. I spoke the only words of the dream:
"Isn't it wonderful? Not every man gets a second chance at life."
My first thought upon waking was that this might be what heaven is like. Maybe when you meet your loved ones in heaven, they will appear as their essense - beautiful and full of love. And their love for you will be tangible, something you can feel down to your bones.
For those few sleeping moments, Daniel was alive for me. My friend is feeling her mother's love in her dreams. The love is real, but the dreams can be scary. And they are bittersweet because we wake up, and our loved one is "gone" again.
But they are not completely gone, are they? Not as long as we love them.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Real Live Preacher
Reading is one of my passions, especially reading about real people.
I've been reading a blog called Real Live Preacher for a long time now, and thought you too would enjoy a two-part essay about his grandfather, a real Texas oilman.
I've been reading a blog called Real Live Preacher for a long time now, and thought you too would enjoy a two-part essay about his grandfather, a real Texas oilman.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Oh, my darlin'...
STOP THE PRESSES!! NEWS FLASH!! Aunt Judie ate some fruit. Real fruit. A couple of Clementines, those small oranges that are everywhere right now. My hands smell wonderful! And no seeds...sweeeeeeet!
A short trip to Never-land
The other day for a short time I found myself in Never-land...not the imaginary Peter Pan place, but my own private, dark Never-land. In this place I use the word "never" in a sorry, self-pitying way:
"I'll never lose this weight."
"I'll never be married again."
"They will never promote me."
I think the word "never" should be used sparingly, maybe only in sentences like "I would never rob a bank" or, "thank you, but I never eat head cheese".
When you misuse the word "never" in projecting the future, you deny the endless possibilities of life. Words are important, especially the ones you use when talking to yourself!
I didn't stay long in Never-land...in fact, I consider it a sign of significant personal growth that I was able to get out of it so quickly. All I had to do was remind myself of some of the things I used to say, like "I'll never get married" and "I'll never weigh that much".
You cannot know what will or will not happen in the future. Never forget that.
"I'll never lose this weight."
"I'll never be married again."
"They will never promote me."
I think the word "never" should be used sparingly, maybe only in sentences like "I would never rob a bank" or, "thank you, but I never eat head cheese".
When you misuse the word "never" in projecting the future, you deny the endless possibilities of life. Words are important, especially the ones you use when talking to yourself!
I didn't stay long in Never-land...in fact, I consider it a sign of significant personal growth that I was able to get out of it so quickly. All I had to do was remind myself of some of the things I used to say, like "I'll never get married" and "I'll never weigh that much".
You cannot know what will or will not happen in the future. Never forget that.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Small changes - Part III
Read Part I
Read Part II
Three weeks ago I started an effort to change my life, one habit at a time. Since then my new habit of eating breakfast at home has taken solid hold. I have only missed doing this once or twice, but did not resort to the fast-food solution. I'm also still at just two cups of coffee at home in the morning, and am having none at work (which is cool...no "coffee breath" worries).
In the meantime, another change happened quite by accident. As most of you know, I am a serious junk food junkie, with a love for McDonald's that goes back to my first Quarter Pounder with Cheese in the early 1970's. And the fries! Incomparable! If the saying "you are what you eat" were literal, your Aunt Judie would be a potato.
Until a few weeks ago I had no intention of watching the movie "Super Size Me". This horrible man was trying to insult my good friend Ronald, and blame him for my weight problem. But on the recommendation of my friend W, I added it to my Netflix queue. When it came I thought I would go get a McD's meal and eat it while I watched the movie just to spite the film maker. It's a good thing I didn't.
The guy ate McD's every day, three times a day, for a month. He bought the Super Size meal if it was offered to him. He got sick in a number of ways, and actually vomited from eating so much on day two or three. But once his system got used to the higher volume, he was able to keep it down. (Our bodies are designed to adapt...to the good and the bad.)
Now, in all the years I have eaten at McD's, I have maybe once or twice had it three times in one day. But I had never regularly eaten the quantity this guy put in his body. And I am a firm believer in personal responsibility. Nobody forced me to eat this stuff. I liked it!
But something about this movie just changed me. I have not gone near a McDonald's in over two weeks, which must be a personal record. I cannot get the picture of him throwing up out of my mind. That, plus one of the deleted scenes which revealed that the fries do not decompose. He had a batch on his desk in a glass jar for 10 weeks, and they never changed...no mold, no spoilage. I imagine there is a fry or two under the seat of the first car I owned, sitting in a junk yard somewhere, still looking fresh 25 years later. This is just wrong!
I'm not saying I will never eat at McD's again, but it sure doesn't appeal to me at the moment. I'm cooking more now, bringing my lunch to work once in a while, and even eating an occasional real vegetable. I'm saving money too, by not eating out all the time. The benefits of change seem to multiply.
My next conscious effort to make a change started yesterday. My apartment complex has community mailboxes scattered throughout the neighborhood. Instead of driving up to my mailbox a couple times a week, I am going to walk there every day.
Read Part II
Three weeks ago I started an effort to change my life, one habit at a time. Since then my new habit of eating breakfast at home has taken solid hold. I have only missed doing this once or twice, but did not resort to the fast-food solution. I'm also still at just two cups of coffee at home in the morning, and am having none at work (which is cool...no "coffee breath" worries).
In the meantime, another change happened quite by accident. As most of you know, I am a serious junk food junkie, with a love for McDonald's that goes back to my first Quarter Pounder with Cheese in the early 1970's. And the fries! Incomparable! If the saying "you are what you eat" were literal, your Aunt Judie would be a potato.
Until a few weeks ago I had no intention of watching the movie "Super Size Me". This horrible man was trying to insult my good friend Ronald, and blame him for my weight problem. But on the recommendation of my friend W, I added it to my Netflix queue. When it came I thought I would go get a McD's meal and eat it while I watched the movie just to spite the film maker. It's a good thing I didn't.
The guy ate McD's every day, three times a day, for a month. He bought the Super Size meal if it was offered to him. He got sick in a number of ways, and actually vomited from eating so much on day two or three. But once his system got used to the higher volume, he was able to keep it down. (Our bodies are designed to adapt...to the good and the bad.)
Now, in all the years I have eaten at McD's, I have maybe once or twice had it three times in one day. But I had never regularly eaten the quantity this guy put in his body. And I am a firm believer in personal responsibility. Nobody forced me to eat this stuff. I liked it!
But something about this movie just changed me. I have not gone near a McDonald's in over two weeks, which must be a personal record. I cannot get the picture of him throwing up out of my mind. That, plus one of the deleted scenes which revealed that the fries do not decompose. He had a batch on his desk in a glass jar for 10 weeks, and they never changed...no mold, no spoilage. I imagine there is a fry or two under the seat of the first car I owned, sitting in a junk yard somewhere, still looking fresh 25 years later. This is just wrong!
I'm not saying I will never eat at McD's again, but it sure doesn't appeal to me at the moment. I'm cooking more now, bringing my lunch to work once in a while, and even eating an occasional real vegetable. I'm saving money too, by not eating out all the time. The benefits of change seem to multiply.
My next conscious effort to make a change started yesterday. My apartment complex has community mailboxes scattered throughout the neighborhood. Instead of driving up to my mailbox a couple times a week, I am going to walk there every day.
Friday, December 03, 2004
My vacation in another world
It has taken me days to get back in sync with my home planet. My week-long visit with my cousin and his family truly felt like being in another world.
And I loved it.
For a short time I was completely immersed in an alternative universe. I was transported from my singleton life of drinking from the milk carton and peeing with the door open into to being one member in a household of six. Except for the fact that (my cousin) Dad S was off work several days because of the holiday, I believe I witnessed the regular routine of a stay-at-home mom household.
The days began early for Mom K, as her four-year-old J regulary wakes up at six no matter how much (or how little) sleep she has had. They quietly go downstairs and go about their morning routine while the rest of the house continues to sleep. Two-year-old A wakes up later and happily sings in her crib for a while until she decides she wants to get up and "pages" Mom through the monitor.
After a day that could include any combination of pre-school, play dates, shopping, errands, time-outs, reading, singing, drawing, playing games, cooking, doing dishes and laundry, Mom K gets a little time for herself before retiring for the night. Dad S makes the most of his time with the little ones in the evening after the family dinner, and helps put them to bed.
This was a fascinating experience for me; completely foreign compared to my growing up years. S and K have made a wonderful life for their family.
Now I'm back home, back to work, back to peeing with the door open (at home, not at work). I miss the home cooked family dinners, the dog with the slimy toy in her mouth begging for attention, the afternoon naps (which I took every day at the same time as the little ones), the adult conversations, and the happy energy of their world.
But I especially miss J, with her bright eyes and curious mind, and A, and her totally sincere declarations of love a hundred times a day.
I need a hug.
And I loved it.
For a short time I was completely immersed in an alternative universe. I was transported from my singleton life of drinking from the milk carton and peeing with the door open into to being one member in a household of six. Except for the fact that (my cousin) Dad S was off work several days because of the holiday, I believe I witnessed the regular routine of a stay-at-home mom household.
The days began early for Mom K, as her four-year-old J regulary wakes up at six no matter how much (or how little) sleep she has had. They quietly go downstairs and go about their morning routine while the rest of the house continues to sleep. Two-year-old A wakes up later and happily sings in her crib for a while until she decides she wants to get up and "pages" Mom through the monitor.
After a day that could include any combination of pre-school, play dates, shopping, errands, time-outs, reading, singing, drawing, playing games, cooking, doing dishes and laundry, Mom K gets a little time for herself before retiring for the night. Dad S makes the most of his time with the little ones in the evening after the family dinner, and helps put them to bed.
This was a fascinating experience for me; completely foreign compared to my growing up years. S and K have made a wonderful life for their family.
Now I'm back home, back to work, back to peeing with the door open (at home, not at work). I miss the home cooked family dinners, the dog with the slimy toy in her mouth begging for attention, the afternoon naps (which I took every day at the same time as the little ones), the adult conversations, and the happy energy of their world.
But I especially miss J, with her bright eyes and curious mind, and A, and her totally sincere declarations of love a hundred times a day.
I need a hug.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
A Thanksgiving to remember
I am sitting in the kitchen of my cousin's home, everyone still in their jammies, drinking coffee, smelling the peacan pie baking, the kids reading their new books, the dog walking around with a toy in her mouth.
Later we will be off to the biggest Thanksgiving gathering I have attended outside of a church dinner - 25 adults and 10 children. Maybe they will sit me at the kid's table...that would be fun!
What a very, very nice morning. I am surrounded by love, with so much to be thankful for.
Later we will be off to the biggest Thanksgiving gathering I have attended outside of a church dinner - 25 adults and 10 children. Maybe they will sit me at the kid's table...that would be fun!
What a very, very nice morning. I am surrounded by love, with so much to be thankful for.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Small changes - Part II
Read Part I
So it's been almost a week now since I embarked on my first "small changes". It's amazing...I really did start to feel differently the very first day. Probably the combination of more fiber and less fat and caffiene accounted for most the difference. And in that time I lost two pounds, even though the only changes I made were at breakfast.
And then today something rare and wonderful happened - so rare that I am still trying to get over the shock...I cooked.
I actually enjoy cooking, but it is such a challenge for just one person, so I usually only do it when I am having company. The thought of cooking actually entered my mind earlier in the week so I did get some groceries. Today as I was doing laundry and reading the Sunday paper, I decided to give it a try and cook for dinner instead of going out or microwaving something from the freezer. I looked around for ingredients to experiment with, and ended up with a whole-wheat pasta, spinach and parmesan cheese thing that came out pretty tasty. The only change I'll make next time is to add a little garlic.
With Thanksgiving this week, which I will be spending with my cousin and his family in Boston, I've decided to wait to add the next small change. But I'm packing my cereal and my walking shoes and hoping for the best.
In the meantime, I have some pots and pans to scrub. Anybody know how many calories dishwashing burns?
So it's been almost a week now since I embarked on my first "small changes". It's amazing...I really did start to feel differently the very first day. Probably the combination of more fiber and less fat and caffiene accounted for most the difference. And in that time I lost two pounds, even though the only changes I made were at breakfast.
And then today something rare and wonderful happened - so rare that I am still trying to get over the shock...I cooked.
I actually enjoy cooking, but it is such a challenge for just one person, so I usually only do it when I am having company. The thought of cooking actually entered my mind earlier in the week so I did get some groceries. Today as I was doing laundry and reading the Sunday paper, I decided to give it a try and cook for dinner instead of going out or microwaving something from the freezer. I looked around for ingredients to experiment with, and ended up with a whole-wheat pasta, spinach and parmesan cheese thing that came out pretty tasty. The only change I'll make next time is to add a little garlic.
With Thanksgiving this week, which I will be spending with my cousin and his family in Boston, I've decided to wait to add the next small change. But I'm packing my cereal and my walking shoes and hoping for the best.
In the meantime, I have some pots and pans to scrub. Anybody know how many calories dishwashing burns?
Thursday, November 18, 2004
He never leaves, even when we do not feel Him
Today's Our Daily Bread is about God's promise to always be with us.
How often do we actually feel that God is there? I would say that most of the time we don't think about it at all. In bad times we might doubt it severely.
But our faith tells us He is always there, because He made that promise.
How often do we actually feel that God is there? I would say that most of the time we don't think about it at all. In bad times we might doubt it severely.
But our faith tells us He is always there, because He made that promise.
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