The Thrill of the Chaste

The Thrill of the Chaste is the first book by our friend Dawn Eden at The Dawn Patrol. Ever since I heard she was writing a book on the subject of chastity, I knew it would be something I would want to read and write about here. For chastity is the lifestyle I have chosen (with some difficulty) since the death of my husband five years ago.

Although we are constantly barraged by sexual messages in television, films, magazines, newspapers, music and the internet, this is still (as it should be) a subject that one does not discuss lightly. Dawn makes her case for a chaste lifestyle effectively because she has the courage to tell us about her own experiences. Anyone who wants to someday have the most awesome human relationship possible--a spiritually and physically fulfilling marriage--should read this book and thank God for giving Dawn the calling, the talent and the guts to write it.

As I read, I used a highlighter pen and some of those little Post-It Page Markers to mark sections that really spoke to me and that I would want to quote. Good idea, except that I had used 30 of them by the time I finished Chapter 8.

So I decided to pick one thing to share with you here, and it comes from my 13th Post-It Page Marker. In Chapter 5, Dawn talks about the loss of innocence which starts not with the first sex act itself, but with the crossing of a certain boundary and what happens after that if you make sex part of your dating life:

Yet, as you explored further, you could never recapture that feeling you had before you took that first step--the feeling of hopefulness and unexplored possiblities. You might try to repeat the same thing you did before with a new man, but in your mind you would always compare your new date to those who had preceded him. Whether he was better, worse, or just different, he was coloring on pages that already contained the outlines of other men.

This is where I have to admit that there were "outlines of other men" on my pages before I married. I bought into the lie that it was alright as long as you were "in love" or that you at least "respected" the other person (whatever that means). And I was not my husband's first lover either. It still makes me sad to know that my husband and I were never truly the only people in our bed, because the memory of others would always be there (deep down and unconscious most of the time, but still there). Sex is such an intense, bonding experience that it can never really be "casual". Anyone who says otherwise is lying to themselves.

What I can tell you that Dawn couldn't is that, having experienced sex both inside and outside of marriage, I know without a doubt that there is simply no comparison. Saving yourself for the husband or wife God has picked for you will be worth the wait.

Since He designed it that way, how could it be otherwise?