Powered by the Son - Part IV

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Read Part III

But wait, I forgot to tell you about the leadership training program week which came before the picnic! It was an important week for me in many ways.

The promotion I received was, if I can be less than humble, well deserved and long overdue. So how could it have been so unexpected? Because even after all these years of working (30-plus...yikes), I lacked perspective. I was, at times, so blinded by resentment and self-doubt that I could not see the obvious signs that I was being groomed for a leadership position.

Several years ago my department was reorganized. It went from a two-team, two-boss structure with little staff input to a multi-team structure with middle-managers who participated in the goal-setting and daily operational decisions of the department. Since then I had attended the manager meetings for the sole purpose (I thought) of taking notes and running the projector. I participated in some of the discussions, but did not have a vote when it came time to make decisions.

Most of the time this did not bother me. But as the years went by I became convinced that I was just being used; that I would always be considered not quite good enough for full membership in the elite group. This stinkin' thinkin' was all in my head and, as it turned out, bore little in common with reality. Should my boss have done more to let me know that I was being groomed for advancement? Maybe. Should I have talked to him, or someone else I trusted, about the situation. I did...many times. But in hindsight, my tendency to think the worst about myself may have clouded what was being said. That, combined with the sometimes excruciatingly slow way things change in the work world, made it seem like I would be stuck in the same position forever unless I left the company.

But change was on the horizon, as it always is.

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