PS: I love me

One more thing from my pastor's sermon on Sunday about love.

Today's culture presents love (especially the couple relationship) in a lot of screwed up ways. One hour at the gym glancing at those ridiculous music videos they play convinces me of that. But one thing in particular is completely, 180 degrees backwards. That would be the premise that "you can't love anyone else until you love yourself".

The truth is, loving yourself is a result of loving others...as long as that love is expressed or practiced or experienced within those guidelines from good 'ol 1 Corinthians 13. When you treat others with patience, kindness and respect, avoiding jealousy, rudeness, selfishness and anger, you are loving them. And we are called to do just that, whether we happen to be feeling love for ourselves or not.

When I was growing up, we spent a lot of holidays at my aunt's home. On the wall in her living room was a plaque that read:

A song is not a song until you sing it.
A bell is not a bell until you ring it.
Love was not put in our hearts to stay.
For love is not love until you give it away.

Give it a try. Next time you are feeling not-so-great about yourself, reach out to someone and treat them in a loving way. Then see how the way you feel about yourself changes. Even if they don't respond in kind, your outlook will change because you have acted in love.

I think I'll take my own advice on this today.

What love is, and what it isn't

"I punch guys in the face for a living."

So said the tough-looking dude in the seat next to me to the guy next to him on a flight from Denver to Southern California. He was wearing pants with the "Tapout" logo and had quite a few tatoos. When I glanced over he seemed familiar. Found out he was a mixed martial arts fighter (for the WEC) as well as the owner of several gyms.

Most of the conversation was between the two guys. When the tough guy mentioned that he has two daughters, I immediately grinned imagining the looks on the faces of any suitors who asked one of the daughters for the first time what her Dad does for a living. Heh heh.

And a few minutes later I came to know just how fortunate those girls are to have this professional fighter as a Dad when he pulled out his Bible. Now, it's not that I think only men of faith can be good fathers. It's that - whether you believe or not - the Bible has a lot of great stuff, especially about love.

My pastor's sermon last Sunday was on this very topic. He mentioned those awful segments on some daytime TV shows about couples where one is totally abusive and the other justifies staying with their abuser because "I love him/her". Don't you just want to scream at the television..."WHY??? THAT! IS! NOT! LOVE!"

So what is love? It's all laid out there in 1 Corinthians 13; it is patient, it is kind, it bears all things, it never fails. Love is not jealous, pompous, or boastful. It is not rude. It is not easily angered, and it does not keep a record of wrongs.

(Read the whole awesome chapter here.)

The best thing you fathers can do for your daughter is to follow the Bible's guidelines on love...especially in how you treat her mother. Give your daughter a model of love so she knows what love is, and what it isn't. That goes for your sons too...they watch you to learn how to treat a woman, and how they should be treated by her. And they will know how to defend and build up their sisters when they are not being treated right by a guy.

Although it does not seem like it a lot of the time, parents are still the most influential people in a child's life...that goes for the good and the bad. There are a lot of influences out there in the culture. When it comes to love, who would you like your children to emulate?

So besides having an automatic (and healthy) fear of a Dad who punches guys in the face for a living, that fighter's daughters have a man who looks to God for guidance. Lucky girls.

All I want for Christmas is skepticism

Atheism seemed quite popular in 2007. Millions of people bought books and read web site authors who think that faith is some kind of mass delusion, and religion is for the weak-willed or stupid. So many people in this world are skeptical (some are downright hostile) towards people of faith.

On Gerry Charlotte Phelps's web site, guest blogger Rubel Shelly flips this thinking around, and makes the case that faith is skepticism of the world:

Faith's view of this world is strangely skeptical. No, more than that. It is a posture of unequivocal distrust leading to rejection! When the world recites its mantras - you matter only if you are beautiful, the most important thing is money, winning is everything, Look Out for Number One - faith protests them all.

Read the whole thing here.

You may have found every earthly thing you wished for under the tree today. And that's wonderful. But don't let those things be the source of your happiness, or define the quality of your life even for a moment. Because remember, in one moment they could be gone.

Be skeptical of what the world values. Seek out the gifts our Father gives, and "let Christmas deny the hold of this world on your heart".

Loosen my fingers, Lord

This morning I was able to catch up on some of the reading that I missed during Lent because of letting myself get too busy with other things (and too lazy to get up early in the morning, my best time for reading and study). My bad.

Wow, I missed a lot of good stuff. The following is from a Lenten reflections booklet called "Stay With Us, Lord", by Father Robert Barron. The one that hit my heart and mind hard was called "In the Loop of Grace". I'll quote it in full (emphasis mine):

"While he was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him." (Luke 15:20)

This is one of the great metaphors in the Bible: God is like a father who gives and gives and gives. God's whole being is "for-giving". When we receive the divine life as a gift, we're meant to give it away. There's the trick. There's the heart of the spiritual life. What you receive as a gift - which is everything we have - give as a gift.

When you draw on the divine life and give it away, you get more. We exist in a kind of loop of grace: what's received is given, and when it's given away, you receive more. It's a basic biblical truth. Write it in your hearts: when you cling to your being, you lose it. When you cling to your gifts and your talents, you lose them. You have them and they multiply only in the measure that you learn how to give them away.

Tomorrow we shall rejoice in the glory of the Risen Lord. We will celebrate and feast and be glad that Lent, with all it's sacrifice and gloom, is behind us. But what will we take with us in the days ahead...those "ordinary" days between the two "biggies"?

What I hope to take with me is the renewed realization that my very life is a gift. And that even when I don't think anybody could possibly miss the gifts I neglect to share, I'll remember that those gifts are nothing if I don't turn around and give them to others.

What gifts are you hesitant to share? You'll miss them when they are gone.

Loosen my fingers, Lord, that I may be more willing to give away what I have received.

Father Robert Barron's web site is here. Check it out.

Hollywood just doesn't get it

In a post about some ridiculous movies currently in production, the Real Live Preacher gives us some good advice:

Listen, I'm just a guy with a bad haircut from a small church you've never heard of, but I hope you'll listen to me for a moment because I have something important to say. When it comes to God, religion, spirituality, whatever you want to call it, ignore just about everything you see on television or in movies. If you are serious about making a spiritual connection with a power greater than ourselves, try the following suggestions:

• Let go of big things and embrace little things.
• Ignore loud things and listen for quiet things.
• Put aside obvious things and seek out hidden things.
• Forget easy things and learn hard and ancient things.
• Stop saving your life and start losing it.
• Let your thinking and believing become doing and serving.
• Quit trying to arrive and become at home on the journey.
• Lose your road maps and find a wise guide to walk with you.

Love the idea of God with all your heart, soul, mind, body, life, work, and strength. And while you're at it, try loving other people as much as you love yourself. You won't be able to do either of these, but trying will be very good for you.

Do these things all of your days and forever. Do these things and live.